boss of the year

Have I mentioned lately how much I love my boss?

I mean, even when I am in trouble, and he is lecturing me, I know he is doing because he cares about me. Personally, professionally, as a person and an employee.

Jeff is freaking awesome.

Today, as I was balancing my checkbook, I realized I had a major mistake. BIG ONE! I had to return one of the gifts I bought for the girls.

BUT! There was hope. We have this thing called perk points at work. Your manager can give them to you for great service, if a customer sends an email about you, etc. You can let them build up and then purchase all kinds of stuff. Kind of like credit card reward points.

They had the same thing I had returned, different brand, not quite as good, but there just the same. I looked at my point balance, then looked at the thing I wanted. I was 150 points short. (Actually 120 but the points only come in groups of 50) So, when Jeff comes back from lunch, I hit him.

"Jeff, do you think I'm 'perky'?" He looks at me like I'm crazy. I then begin to tell him how I need the points, and whined a little because I hadn't gotten any all year, blah, blah, blah. He writes it down in his daytimer. Kim PP - 150

I go home for lunch, look in my purse, and there's the certificate for 150 perk points. Jeff is freaking awesome. So, I logged right on and re-purchased (and I use that loosely since it was basically free) the gift.

Jeff really is awesome, he is the perfect mentor, pushes you just far enough to succeed and truly cares about his team. I love working there, and will be a perennial assistant just to continue to work for him.

So now I'm down to a lowly 30 perk points. I'm gonna have to get some people to write some more emails! :)

around the world in 80 seconds

If you haven't downloaded Google Earth Do IT NOW!

Here are some of the places I have been today --

This is where Ashley went through boot camp and is now going to school


This is where I work


This is Reliant Stadium when it was still smaller than the Astrodome.


Now, I want to see the places you go on your sites!

I'm warning you now, this program is extremely addictive!

turning japanese

Would the person who spends so much time here from Japan please speak up? You got this link from a mail message, Ive been to your lightstar41 sight as well.

Who are you? And how did you et this link?

holiday shuffle

For the last two years, I have hosted a Christmas party for the staff at work. I make the turkey, the dressing and potatoes, everyone brings something and we exchange gifts via Chinese Christmas style.

It has always been fun, and something I love doing. When I was a stay at home Mom, we were always having parties, cook outs, game days, etc. When I went back to work, those events were limited at best.

This year, I made up the flyer and planned on having it at my house again, pre divorce talk. I thought about going ahead and having it at my house, but then rethought that.

If a pool ball got dropped, I would hear about it, if there was a speck of gravy in the sink, I would hear about it, nope, not at my house.

I talked with Jeff, his house isn't big enough to host 30 people, so I thought again about moving it back to my house. Nope, I just can't bring myself to do it.

In comes Dan, my fellow Broadway whore and damn near favorite employee. His apartment complex has a big clubhouse, pool table and pseudo movie theatre. Almost like my house! A simple phone call and it's ours.

Today I will be cooking for the party on Sunday.

Yesterday I bought the girls their present. I'm still not convinced this blog is as private as I would like it to be, so I will wait on writing what I bought them, or what Larry has gotten. (hero factor hard at work)

I stopped by the house on Sunday to get a few more things. There is a closet upstairs that is filled top to bottom, front to back and left to right of Christmas decor. When I worked at Kirklands with my 40% discount, I bought a ton of Christmas stuff. I wanted to bring some of it over here, knowing Larry will not decorate.

The closet is so full, I can't get to what I want without pulling everything out.

Larry was there, semi arguing with me about what I was taking, then telling me more about why he gripes about money, blah, blah, blah. He said all the sudden it's about money. No, it's not. It's just one more symptom of a bigger problem.

I asked him, why are you even arguing with me about this? It's over, done, finished. Why are we even bothering? I ended up walking out, not being able to stand it there any longer.

While I am mourning the loss of a marriage, I am celebrating a life of independence. It's all brand new again, and I can't wait.

when it looks like you are going to win ....

you don't.

My boys blew a 24-3 half time lead that went into overtime. They let the "lambs" score 24 un answered points.

And David looked so cute jumping on Corey Bradford after his THIRD touchdown PASS! Yes folks, three touchdown passes.

Looks like that first round draft pick is securely in their pocket at this point.

And I hear rumors (and by the way he looked at half time I am inclined to believe them) that we are trying to lure Jimmy Johnson out of retirement to coach us.

I may have to sell my tickets if that happens.

You win some, you lose some. OK, we lose a lot, but hey, there's always next year ... again.

the d word

I asked for it last night. Divorce. He agreed. Then he asked me for 1/2 of the ipod we bought for Hannah for Christmas. Then he asked me for the other 200.00 for our Texans tickets. Then he asked whether I was paying for Ashley's ticket home.

Is this what it is reduced to? Who is paying for what? I told him, he could pay for the ipod, that was my idea, he could keep the tickets that he doesn't want and he could pay for the ticket for Ashley.

I'm like that turkey we ate the other day. Done.

It began like a string hanging down from a sweater. You pull on it a little, try to snip it so it won't unravel. The snip worked for a little bit, then it started coming loose again. Try a match, to sear it, melt the ends together. All that does is burn whatever you had left.

I really always thought Larry & I would be together forever. We would be old and gray, laughing about the past, going to weddings and visiting grandchildren.

Some things don't turn out the way you planned.

Yesterday, I called to ask if Hannah wanted to go to lunch. No, she was going shopping with Larry.

What? Larry at the mall on black Friday? What was this about? Had this been an ordinary holiday, and I happened to be off, and I asked to go shopping, he would have bitched and bitched about it. But for Hannah, it is OK. Funny, it was always that way for Ashley, too.

I finally realized it is not about the money, or where we go, or what we do, or what we buy, it's me. Simply put, it's me.

It's like, he wants me there, but that's all. Just the idea of me being there, but nothing else. Don't plan anything, don't go anywhere, don't have an emotion. Just be there.

But I'm not.

I don't think he actually thought I would not be there for Thanksgiving. I don't think he actually believes I won't be there for Christmas. My favorite holiday, the one he hates the most.

Am I trying to prove a point? Maybe. Is it working? No. Will I actually get divorced? Probably. Will he be happy then? No. Will I? Yes.

Don't pull on the string unless you're ready for it to unravel.

re-post

Well golly gee. I didn't realize I could just change the title instead of a whole new bog, so here is a repost of my first full post at the old new blog.

The trip went well. EA was very gracious, very polite and very respectful. To be quite honest, I didn't think she could ever be all those things at once.

Military brainwashing, it's a good thing.

Every time a waiter handed her a menu, her reply was "Thank you Sir" or "Ma'am". She has over 1000.00 in her account, bought herself a new video ipod and loves the Navy.

There are no "individuals" there. Everyone is the same, at least during 'attention'. That is exactly what she needed. Everyone like her, just a place to excel.

I was amazed, it was unreal. She is still with C.

LD & I are a different story. We slept in separate beds and didn't speak directly to each other more than four or five times. I came right back home to my apartment and didn't look back. Truth is, I really like living by myself.

Walking (ok dragging) ourselves home through the airport, his comment, "Sure did spend a lot of money".

My head dropped, I stopped in my tracks and my rolling carry on almost fell over. He replied, "THE AIRPORT!". He was talking about the monitors and all the fancy trimmings IAH has now.

But it got me thinking. This is the problem, I am programmed to respond in a sinking manner whenever he speaks of money.

Way back in the day, we were dead broke. Paycheck to day before paycheck. The grocery store every Thursday was not something I looked forward too. I would plan my menu, write down everything I needed and head out.

Through the isles as I put my items in the cart, I would write down the price of each. Anything that wasn't on the list had it's own column, and price.

Before heading to the checkout, I would grab my calculator and add everything up. If it was more than we had, things would be put back.

Back in the day when I was paying the bills (meaning writing the checks) it was always justify. Justify, justify, justify. Well, when you came home from work and you walked through the door, that means we had to pay rent. When you turned the switch, the light came on, that means we have to pay for electricity. And so on.

Now, with an average of two vacations a year, buy whatever you want at the store, his four new cars in as many years, things are still the same.

Justify.

I decided to forego the traditional Thanksgiving. LD & HB will be going to his Dads, I will be spending the day with MC.

I didn't see the need to spend a bunch of money, time and cooking for something neither of us wants at this point, time together.

We did see RENT on Monday. I am going to have to see if a few more times before I post a real review. I kept trying to align the play in time with the movie, and it didn't work. Now I know what to expect, I'll see it again.

No day but today.

Happy Thanksgiving Y'all.

another change of address

I am changing blog locations without publishing -- Various reasons

Email me if you would like the new address -- and please do not share or link back to me.

Thanks --

bloggeremail@hotmail.com

312 calling / 832 hanging up

Over the weekend, Larry had told me Ashley called him. She needed a reference that wasn't a family member. He didn't have any of the numbers, so he told her to call me. She told him she tried, but I didn't answer. I was sleeping, she called really, really early. And when I saw the missed call, I had no idea where it was from.

He also told me that Monday, they would have a free phone day, where they would be able to call out. I was planning on spending the night at the house Sunday after he cooked me dinner, but half way there I realized I had forgot my phone at work.

I wasn't sure if she would really call me or not, but decided to go back to the store, pick my phone up and have it just in case. I put it beside my bed, just in case she called early. Nope, no call.

I got to work and kept my phone with me. No call. At lunch, I called Larry, asking him if she had called, no, she hadn't.

About 1, my phone rang, 312, Illinois. I was finishing up a call on the landline, answered my cell and said "hold on".

MOM, ..... MOM, ..... MOMMMMMMMMMMM she was screaming on the other end. I got to her, and conversation ensued.

She is having the time of her life. She loves it. She has retirement, benefits, a life. She says this is the best thing she has ever done for herself. She is not afraid to excel, that is what it is all about, excel. No peer pressure, no rebellion, just be the best.

Her voice is nearly gone, since her promotion, she is the one leading the chants. The ones that go "I don't know but I've been told" -- or something like that. Plus, she is getting sick. She says it is very cold. She is a born & bred Texan who freezes north of Conroe, like me.

She still hasn't decided whether to go east coast or west. East coast gets her Europe, Spain, etc. West coast gets her Hawaii, Japan & somewhere else I can't remember. Neither of them sound bad, especially if I was 19.

I told her I would try to ask Jeff once more to let me have Saturday off so we could spend more time with her. Until yesterday, we didn't know whether she would have liberty or not. She sounded great, she said she has really learned a lot about herself, and mentioned something about coming back from Chapel.

When Jeff got back from lunch, I told him about the call, and asked if there was any way I could be off Saturday. He said he would talk to Yvette (he is traveling for the holiday and Saturday is first day of vacation) and call me later.

I had just hung up with Jeff telling me I could take off, he would make it work, when my phone rang, it was Larry.

I told him Jeff would let me off, good. Then, he asks me (and I use ask lightly as he was borderline berating me) if I spent 49.99 on HIS JC Pennys card. Wow, your card. OK, yeah, I did. Remember, I bought Hannah those boots? He goes on to tell me how he is trying to pay those down, and how dare I charge on it without telling him. Then, he implies that I had them look the card up, so I was being sneaky about it.

I have had that card for TWO YEARS. I have charged on it THREE times in the last year (boots included). I just don't freaking get it? He makes six figures and is bitching at me over FORTY NINE NINETY NINE! I told him I was going to call the airlines to see how much it would cost to change the flight. He said, "good, you can pay for it to make up for the boots." Shocked? Yeah. Pissed? Hell yeah.

I'm thinking to myself, you haven't changed at all, why do I want to go back to this? A month before Christmas no less?

I called him back and informed him I didn't even want to go with him, let alone extend my time with him. We spent the better part of thirty minutes arguing over 49.99 and the boat. It always comes back to the boat. I love it, I wanted it, he hates it, didn't want it. I pay for it. A whopping 300.00 a month. He never wants to take it out, I can't take it out by myself, so, if we take it out once a year, it's a 3000.00 rental. blah, blah, blah.

He then asks me, am I going to change the tickets. WHAT? You just spent thirty minutes telling me how you don't want to spend any money, now you want to pay to change the tickets, pay for two extra hotel nights, two extra days of car rental, and who knows how much in eating out. That makes a lot of sense. In crazyland.

I don't freaking get it, I feel like there is some cosmic alliance keeping me from Ashley. WTF is the matter with him? Why does he flip out? Why does he talk to me so hatefully, then tell me he is trying to be nicer? Jeez, I didn't realize it would take so much effort not to talk to me like shit ......

I'm halfway thinking of changing my ticket only, and letting HIM go home.

Alone

forever 47

A couple of the blogs I read have recently had entries regarding suicide.

I hate that word. I hate the selfishness of it. I hate the lives it shatters, pieces of a puzzle gone forever, you can never, ever be whole again.

I remember it so well. So very, very well.

I was uploading pictures of a ST. Patricks Day visit to the zoo. She came in. Eyes drawn, loaded as usual. I had cut off contact with her, and the girls. I could not guarantee their safety around her any longer. I couldn't risk her driving them around loaded.

She sat across from me, silently crying. I knew it was coming. I told her, let me help you, let me take you to the hospital, it will get better. No, there was nothing she wanted, only to come and say goodbye.

The next day, I got a phone call from Autumn, she was in hysterics, "she did it, she did it, she did it" was all she could cry out to me.

My mind flew into over drive. What were we going to do? How would I tell the girls? What happens now?

I called Larry, "Call your mom, have her come get the girls, now". I knew people would be coming, I knew conversations were to be had, they could not know, I wasn't ready to tell them.

The mind is a truly amazing thing. My mind allowed me to function, to go through the motions, to plan a funeral without having a break down. I cried silently in the middle of the night, when no one could hear me. Except maybe her.

The service came. We had a viewing, and then she was cremated. I did not view her, I couldn't. How can you look inside and see a woman who fucking chose to leave you? Forget about you, forget about your brother, forget about your sister. How could she leave those grandbabies? Ashley 12, Hannah 8, Dejah 3. I just couldn't do it.

Neither could my brother. I had them close the casket so we could go say goodbye. It didn't work.

For a year after her death, I had nightmares, two, three times a week. I would dream, there she was, pumping gas, or knocking on the door, or getting high. The setting was always different, the premise always the same.

She had left, faked her death, and needed to start over. The feeling that she chose to leave never faded. It still hasn't.

I was in hysterics the whole way to Larry's parents house, I could barely breathe. Everytime I thought of having to tell those girls Grandma Renee was gone broke my heart into another piece.

I couldn't do it, Larry had too. I couldn't get the words out. It was her heart they were told. You can't tell two grandchildren your Grandma killed herself. How could you say that?

Two weeks later, I cracked. My mind caught up to my heart.

In May, two months after, Larry & I went to see City of Angels. I had bought the soundtrack before and we were listening to it on the way to the theater. Mistake #1. Angel is not a song you can listen to. My tears came.

Mistake #2 was actually watching the movie. While walking out, Larry asked me a question, something about Heaven. I managed to get out, "I think" and the lump in my throat replaced all speaking abilities.

When we got home, I called Marilee.
"Hello?"
"Hi" I said through my tears.
"Are you crying?"
"Yes"
"Do you want to talk about it?"
"No"
"Do you just want to cry?"
"Yes"

That, is a friend. Someone who will sit and listen to your tears and ask no questions. She saved me from the edge that night. I cried for about five minutes and told her what had happened.

The dreams lasted for about a year. They still come every now and then. I am unsure what triggers them. I look just like her. Hannah looks just like her.

I know she did not chose to leave us, her addiction forced her to leave us. We had not known our Mother for years before that. OUR Mother would not have killed herself. OUR Mother would not have left her grandchildren.

Those fucking pills sure would though.

She is forever 47.

free rent, trucks & beer

Well, it seems Suzi isn't the only one with high connections! (just kidding doll, and btw, loved our chat!)

I was surfing the Rent Message Boards looking for reviews when I came across a post linking to free advanced screening passes.

I went on over, printed them out, and presto! -- We get to see it Monday before it comes out on Wednesday! (which is really good since I will be cooking all Wednesday night!)

I have a confession to make. There is something I do not like about football (gasp).

I can not stand, literally detest all the freaking trucks & beer commercials. I mean, hello, there are GIRLS that watch football! Throw in some chick flick movie previews or something. And don't even get me started on the alcohol advertising. (insert major eye roll here).

Larry grilled me barbecue chicken tonight ..... very, very good :)

open, semi-open and closed

Last night I overheard a woman telling the two friends she was with how she and her husband had finally decided on an agency.

She was talking about the different questions, open vs closed, etc. It made me feel good she was so excited about adoption.

The fact it was at the bar over about eight empty martini glasses did worry me a bit!
(I am being humorous here people ;)

Suzi got an advanced ticket to RENT, which she will be seeing tonight. She better call me afterwards and let me know how it was! Better yet, she could take her videocamera in (she's such the lens sleuth) and send me the copy.

I'm still on the Wicked high. The soundtrack is soooooo much better having actually seen it. Defying Gravity has replaced Popular as my favorite song, I get chills now everytime I hear it.

I had dinner with Hannah & Larry last night. She thought I was mean because I wore the shirt and brought her a playbill. I took the playbill to her because it had a write up about RENT in it. She said she didn't think I really wouldn't take her.

I think she has really learned her lesson, and is still scared. Good.

Today is day two of seven. I can't really complain, I haven't had one of those in a long time, and it always happens before a semi-vacation.

We got another letter from Ash, I haven't read it (Larry took it to work), the gist was she ordered her photos, and with her retirement and school deductions she has no money, would we split them with her. She didn't mention exactly how much they are.

Larry & I arrive in Chicago early Thursday morning. We plan on seeing Navy Pier and Michigan Ave. I've never been to Chi-town, so I am excited.

I bought a new suit for graduation.

that was the SHIZ

It was sooooooo GOOD!



If you can see it, you must. I can't wait to see it in NY.

I bought the magnet, my standard memento from shows I see. Then after hearing it live, during intermission, I had to buy the pink Popular shirt, with Wicked on the back. The "L" is a jeweled wand.



I will be up for hours, but is was worth it.

BTW -- Did I mention CAROL KANE is in the touring show? Wow, what a freaking blast.

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I hate it when this happens. No explanation, no warning ... just ... gone.

when Jimmy Kimmel is making fun of you, you know it's bad

Last night I told Larry I was going to watch the football game. I told him, "The Colts are undefeated, and the Patriots ..... Aren't"

I do not root for the Patriots. I root for whoever is playing against them. It was a great Monday Night matchup. The Colts are 0-7 at Foxborro and never seemed to be able to get passed them.

Last night, they did. It was a great game.

Half time consist of Tim McGraw's "I like it, I love it" with lyrics and video based on the weekends best plays. Then, you have "60 seconds with Jimmy Kimmel".

Jimmy had a great piece about Pittsburgh coach Bill Cower. How angry he always looks. He had clips of his notoriously angry face superimposed on "Christmas Cards" etc.

His last line? "Don't be so angry Bill, you could be coaching the Houston Texans".

OUCH!

side note***

Thanks for all of your support with the latest drama. After lots of talks with Hannah and Larry, I think we will all get passed this. I have to say, I was a little glad Larry was the 'first responder'. It has opened his eyes, he did not hear about it from me, and thinking that I was 'crazy' or 'overreacting'. (A major part of why I moved out) By the time he called me, he had already taken down the internet and took up her cell phone.

It is important for him to do these things, it is important for Hannah to realize her will ground her when she needs it. It was a big step for all of us.

Hannah can be very convincing, but I do think she is truly sorry, and scared. The reason she did it? Adrenaline. To see if she could get away with it. It wasn't about the money, it was just to do it.

The difference between Hannah and Ashley when they are in trouble (and I've said this before) is Hannah will show emotion, say she's sorry and most times seems to learn from her mistakes. Ashley always took our punishment as "trying to stick it to her" and would NEVER show any emotion as to try and prove to us, "you will not break me". Ashley never understood the 'why's'. Hopefully Hannah does, and it's not all an act.

Stephanie got grounded for a month, she still has her cell phone for "emergencies" and Trish did not tell her Dad. They didn't make it over to the house that night either.

Larry & I have had very good talks since I have been out. I think he realizes I can be a grown up. I can budget my money, I can pay my bills, I can survive without him. I think this has been more of a growing experience for him than it has been for me.

My checks have always gone in his account. I have a pretty good idea of how much he makes, and I know how much I make. I would look at my checks, and go, OK, you should have 'X' amount this week. He would give me my allowance for the week.

If I ran out, or needed more, he would berate me, belittle me, and make me feel like I was small. Now that I have my checks, and really see how much I have, I have told him, you will NOT make me feel guilty for my 'allowance' any longer. And he won't.

Combined we make very good money. He is a VP, yes, I am a lowly retail assistant, but still, we live a good life, and I don't worry about going to the grocery store. We are extremely lucky. He was in the right place at the right time for his job. He excelled and is very smart which helped his growth in that company. They depend on him greatly.

I could be replaced in a day.

We haven't argued over money in years, it was a simple, "and another thing" during the separation. That was largely based on Ashley & I's relationship, or lack thereof, and him all of the sudden deciding he knew what was best. He hasn't parented them in a very long time. I told him at one point, "it would have been easier if I had left you when they were five". He didn't understand the comment, I hope he does now.

So, things are moving along. Hannah seems to understand the magnitude of her actions, and is accepting her punishment. She doesn't like it, and that's understandable. She also knows when I ground, I stick to it. She knows there is no escaping or reprieve.

We all did stupid things, some of us got caught and learned, some of got caught and failed to learn, some escaped ever getting caught and ever learning.

Hopefully she will learn.

one more thing

If you haven't seen Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind

Rent it NOW. It is wonderful, and only gets better each time you watch it.

i'm wicked

I'm not taking her, she cried more when I told her. She cried even harder when she thought she wouldn't be able to go see RENT. I told her I would take her to see the movie when it comes out (two weeks from Wednesday, not that I'm counting or anything).

Tomorrow however is too close. Corie is going with me instead. I called her this morning and told her, she couldn't believe it. I still can't.

I told her if she keeps on the straight and narrow, and if she's not in jail (my attempt at humor here) we would see it when we go to NY in March.

Time will tell, but for now, I too am wicked.

how wicked should I be?

Wicked is tomorrow night.

Hannah is grounded.

How wicked should I be?

Take her or leave her?

and things were going so well

This morning, I was awakened at 6:30 am. That's harsh. Larry & I had already planned on going to HB for lunch, we hadn't been there in a long time. So, instead of driving back to my apartment, then driving to the house for lunch, I decided to go straight to the house.

I climbed into the guest bed so I wouldn't wake Larry up. Slept for about another hour, woke up, showered and headed off to lunch. We met Corie, Dwayne & Austin and had a very nice lunch.

On the way home, Hannah was trying to con her way into another trip to the mall. Larry did not want to go all the way home, pick Stephanie up, then drive them back up there. I suggested Stephanie get dropped off at the mall, we would drop Hannah and they could shop.

Stephanies parents had not conceded to this by the time we got to the mall, so we drove on by. Hannah wanted to be dropped at Stephanie's, and in the distance of the four houses that separate us, I told Larry, she is very spoiled, and sometimes you just have to say no. She was at the mall yesterday, she doesn't need to go again.

We watched a little of the game, then I headed out. I needed a haircut, stop by the store and laundry to do. I called Larry once I realized I had forgotten my toothbrush at the house. He said he would bring it in the morning, as he had to go pick Hannah and Stephanie up at the mall. My eyes rolled, thinking he was such a pushover. Stephanies parents dropped them off, Larry was picking them up.

Only, the police did it first.

Hannah had 160.00 bucks in her purse, and chose to steal an 8.00 necklace. She got caught. The police were called, and she had to be released to Larry. A court date will be following.

He called me and told me all about it. I can not believe this. I am so utterly disappointed in Hannah it is beyond words. I called Trish, Stephanies mom and informed her their interaction will be limited to school from here on out. They are not good together, and continue to make bad decisions while in each others company.

Then, I called Hannah. She is in tears, of course. No internet, no cell phone, alarm being set at night, nothing. I told Larry, she has to know we will be there at EVERY turn. She will get caught at EVERY turn.

I tried to let Hannah know we would not be doing our jobs if we didn't try to protect her now the same way we did when she was little. No running with sharp objects. No playing with knives. No touching hot stoves or burners. It is the SAME thing, only now it is your friends, the places you go, the people you see.

Then, I asked her if Stephanie stole anything from the mall. Hannah hesitates. "I didn't see her take anything"
"Then do you KNOW she took something?" Another long pause.
"Lipgloss"

I called Trish back and informed her of my newfound knowledge. Stephanie got caught stealing a few years ago, and I'm just a little worried what her Dad is going to do with this knowledge. They spank. They throw.

We do not spank (not in YEARS), there has only been three times we had to physically remove Ashley (one of the three was restraining her the night she was strung out on Xanex).

Trish said if I didn't mind, they would head down to the house when they got home (they were at a hockey game). I said no, Larry could call me and I would be on speaker.

I had already taken my tylenol pm, and it is not safe for me to drive at this point.

I then informed Larry that after we get back from Chicago, I am packing up the apartment and moving back in. My schedule is demanding, but if I am not there, he can be, and I can be there more than he can.

I will be speaking to Jeff about another child when he returns. I can not close more than twice a week (and really, shouldn't have too).

Now, I am charging my phone for the conference call. I would have thought Hannah would have KNOWN better. Why, somebody tell me WHY kids think parents are pulling things out of their ass? Why don't they realize that we do not make this shit up?

No rest for the weary.

dom, dom, dom, dom, dommmmmmm

I give Dom Capers about three more days with my Texans. Sad. I really like the guy. Yes, our offensive line went down like dominos with injuries, but you have to have a deep bench. We don't.

Looks like Green Bay is trying to steal our draft pick. We are now competing for worst team in the league.

My predictions. Vince Johnson will be lured by the big game and go ahead pro next year. We don't pay Carr his 8 mil roster bonus (and really, why should we?), we get first round draft pick (which is all we are playing for at this point). Now, who do we draft? Vince? And be back where we were five years ago, a brand spanking new quarterback that goes number one like Carr did? (even number two Joey Harrington has been benched)

I think we will trade up for some picks and get some better receivers. We need something!

I've decided, I'm playing fantasy football next year. I'm the only girl I know who can watch the ticker on Sportscenter and know who goes where.

I'll post on the clinic later, it wasn't as bad as I thought it was going to be. The worst part was washing the gunk out of my hair from all the stickums they had in it ... yuch!

the one with the most pins wins

Today was filled with two of my favorite things (okay three if you include the food). Shopping and babies.

It was Kristins baby shower today. I had spent an hour or so ahead of time at Babies R Us. My standard baby gift is a wooden box with sterling tubes inside. One for the birth certificate, one for the first tooth, and the first curl. Engraveable.

Then always one thing from the registry. Then I found this darling little stuffed animal. All wrapped up in tiers, with lots of curly, glittery topping, and the animal on top.

Her shower was great, lots of friends, lots of food, LOTS of pink. I can not wait until she has this baby. If I had not had my hysterectomy, I would have had more. I love me some babies!

At showers, wedding, baby, or otherwise, there is always the "pin" game. At wedding showers, you can't say the word wedding. Baby showers, can't say the word baby. You get the idea. You say the word, you lose the pin. Don't play this game with me, I always win.

I have about an hour before my own version of "nightmare of the living awake". Why in the world would a sleep clinic want you there at 8:30? Don't they know that's like about five hours before I even begin to think about sleep? Oh well. Tomorrow I will lay on my couch all day and watch football.

I have nine pins on my shirt.

terror alert?

Houston, TX - Wednesday, October 25, 2005 - Anthrax Scare At Reliant Stadium Houston Texans football practice was delayed nearly two hours today after a player reported finding an unknown white powdery substance on the practice field.

The Texans head coach immediately suspended practice while police and federal investigators were called to investigate.

After a complete analysis, FBI forensic experts determined that the white substance unknown to the players was the goal line.

Practice was resumed after special agents decided the team was unlikely to encounter the substance again.

another letter

Last night I stopped by the house. I wanted to see Hannah and I had to pay Larry my half of our season tickets. (It really sucks to write that check when they are playing so badly)

Upon on arrival, Larry told me there was a new letter from Ashley, addressed to both of us. "Mom & Daddy".

She went on to say how excited she was about graduation, how she really hopes we are coming, but if not, "it's okay". The she wrote that she got a promotion. I couldn't understand what kind of promotion it was in the letter, but she said she is at the top of her unit now.

That's the thing with her, she can do anything she puts her mind too, it's getting her to put her mind to it that is hard!

I'm glad she is doing well. We bought our plane tickets yesterday, hopefully we will get to spend a little time in Chicago when we get there. I've never been there (for more than a layover) and would love a chance to see a little of it.


**note -- HNT is just fun, don't worry, you won't see any more of me than you need too ;)

hnt virgin

OK, so here's my first HNT "Half Nekkid Thursday" post. I'm starting small. A leg. With a tattoo.



I got the tattoo on my 30th birthday. I wanted a tattoo and to dye my hair red. The tattoo is a very simple perfect nickel sized yin yang.

the non sleep clinic

Yesterday morning, at five am, I sent Jeff an email.

No, I was not up that early catching up on work, I had not been to sleep. After THREE tylenol pm and a swig of hydrocodone for good measure. Nadda. Nothing. No sleep.

I sent him an email telling him I would be late. I took another dose of the pm stuff and managed to sleep from 6 till 11:30.

I was a wreck yesterday. On the verge of tears all day due to my no sleep.

I called the referral desk three times. Literally almost yelling through the lump in my throat.

Finally she called me back, and I now have the referral. I will go to the non sleep clinic Saturday night.

Now, while on the phone making the appointment, the lady informed me of a condition some people have. I can't remember the name exactly, but it's something like "sleep *somethingsomething* paranoia".

She said that many people come there stating they are up all night, they walk the dog, they drive around, etc. Then, after staying at the clinic they say "see?" and then the clinic shows them asleep all night. They manufacture the lack of sleep.

I told her I was quite sure that was not me, as my husband has seen me up many, many times. So, unless both of us are paranoid, I didn't think that was it.

So, Saturday night I will be awake at the sleep clinic.

Sunday ought to be a whole butt load of fun.

bye bye im

I had to uninstall the yahoo IM thing. After I had NINETY SIX spyware crawlers and my computer was d-r-a-g-g-i-n-g

So I will have to go back to communicating the old fashioned way --

EMAIL!