calling all angels

A man is placed upon the steps, a baby cries
And high above him you hear the church bells start to ring.
The heaviness, the heaviness of it settles in,
A mother starts to sing.

Then it's one foot then the other as you step along the road
Steppin' on the road, how much weight, how much weight?
And it's how long and how far and how many times,
Oh, before it's too late?

Calling all angels, Calling all angels.
Walk me through this one, don't leave me alone.
Calling all angels, Calling all angels.
We're trying, we're hoping, but we're not sure how...

Oh and every day you gaze upon the sunset
With such love and intensity.
Why it's almost as if, if you could only crack the code
You'd finally understand what this all means.

Oh but if you could, do you think you would
Have traded all the pain and suffering?
Oh, but then you would've missed the beauty of the light upon this earth
And the sweetness of the leaving.

Calling all angels, Calling all angels!
Walk me through this one, don't leave me alone
Calling all angels, calling all angels,
We're trying, we're hoping but we're not sure...

Calling all angels (call all angels)
Calling all angels (call all angels)
Walk me through this one
Don't leave me alone.

Calling all angels, Calling all angels
We're trying, we're hoping, we're hurting, we're loving
We're crying, we're calling,
But we're not sure how this goes.

life is a series of hello's and goodbyes i'm afraid it's time for goodbye again

John & Mandy's last day. Cake & Pizza for all. My last day on the sales floor. Lot's of hugs, tears and cards. Here are the goodbye emails, just shows you what wonderful people I have been blessed to work with --

First, from John. Have I mentioned he is crazy? I am really going to miss him.

Where do I start? Who do I make fun of first? Well that question is easy to answer because it is always Clint. Clint thanks for always giving me someone to make fun of and laugh at. Your weak wit and lack of common sense have made working with you enjoyable and dynamic. Thank you for allowing me to never count on you for anything. Your lack of commitment and accountability are second to none. Over the last 9 months or whatever that you have been here I think the only advice I took from you was where to go eat one day, and then I ended up in the bathroom for several hours. So lesson learned. Thanks for nothing. Ok I guess I should tell the truth now. Clint you’ve been almost like a brother to me here in the store. Thanks for the jokes and competition. You’ve been a pleasure to work with, and I get even more pleasure out of playing you in pool after a hard days work full of psychotic customers.

If I’m gonna talk about siblings I guess I better mention my younger looking older sis. Kim you’re card almost made me cry like when I found out ya’ll were having girls night at your house to watch Steel Magnolias. I will miss catching the occasional sporting event in the movie room. I’m sorry about busting your rib up and making you cry, but that’s what younger brothers do. (Ooops!) Working along side you as senior has been great. We made a helluva team for these next too greenhorns to follow up on. I wish you the best of luck at your new role as ASM. I’m sure you will thrive in your new role.

Mandy you’re pathetic plea for forgiveness will not change the fact that you broke my heart. You removed my name from the dry erase board before I was even out the door. Why don’t you just kick me out. Yeh I’ll be sure and keep in touch NOT! Yeh thanks for the pleasant salutations. I thought I was important to this store. Things can never go back to the way they were not after the things that have happened not after the things I’ve seen. You must be one sick puppy to get your kicks out of breaking people’s hearts. What goes around comes around missy you continue to use that type of SASSE and it will catch up to you quickly. Best of luck in the ghetto, and thanks for always being great!

To the family guy crew: Dana, Dan, Eli
This is it, this is life, the one you got, so go and have a ball. You take the good, you take the bad, you take them both and there you have, my salutations. Sit Boo Boo sit, good dog. Here’s to the greatest show ever. Good luck in your future endeavors. Buena suerte Eli en su trabajo Nuevo.

Page I don’t see the advantage in advantage agreement so I mean I could rationalize why I should good say goodbye but I don’t want to so I’m not. Keep them numbers up and good luck with everything.

The official count for the average number of times Adrienne says “I mean” in one transaction is 7.3. The official salutation of the Sprint Store Katy 295 is “Have a goot one”. And Adrienne yes I know I’m crazy, but I have that crazy IN-SHORE-ANCE so I’m covered. Adrienne you’ve been a pleasure to work with. Thanks for being a great sport and taking all the jokes.

Berto – you tha man bro. Thanks for the jalapeno chips and voided warranties. Youre help on the floor with customers is above and beyond the call of duty and I cant say enough how much I appreciate that.

Monica you’ve been wonderful. I wish I could say goodbye in person. I’ll be back to see you.

James its been real, its been short, its actually been real short. Good luck.

Who am I forgetting? Oh yeh the BALD EAGLE. I don’t know how many different ways to put this but you have been THE BEST I have ever worked with. Your ability to lead, guide, assist, humor, empathize . . . etc etc. the list goes on. Oh did I mention you have a pretty darn good whistle too? Jeff we will definitely be in touch, and thank you for lessons learned and memories made.
Basically guys, this store has been like a family to me, and I will miss everyone greatly. Its hard to say goodbye, but the promise that the future brings forces me to make this tough decision. All of you will hold a place in my heart. None will be forgotten. Thank you for everything.
Code 50 -
JOHN

Then there is Mandy (who cried all day)
Team,
I am so glad that I was able to work with each of you. Here are my goodbyes…..
Thanks!

Kim, I am so excited for you. I will never forget sitting behind the ‘CSR’ counter, you and I clicked immediately. That was a couple of years ago. I will miss you like CRAZY! You are going to do a wonderful job –you have great ideas and a sales driven mentality. CONGRATULATIONS!

John, you are so funny! I will miss our many talks about your eventful life….Pocahontas, people that can’t find the bathroom; the list goes on and on! Next time, I just might throw the cake in your face. Good luck in Austin. I know that you will be an asset and success wherever you go.

Clint! I am so glad that we had the chance to get to know each other. You are a strong person with a kind heart. You are going to make a wonderful senior. I look forward to hearing about your success. And I guess since I am leaving---IT’S OVER---so the wedding is off! I’m Mandy L! Hhhhhmmm!

Alberto. You have been so amazing to work with. It is so great to know that you get your stuff done without my having to say a word. We worked well together and I could not have done anything without you. I am going to miss having you in the techroom. Most of all, I will miss the early morning inventory counts----HA! I will really miss you. Have fun and keep in touch.

Dana, what can I say? I have always looked forward to working with you. You are such a caring person. You are great at what you do. I have always appreciated the fact that you tried to make my job as easy as possible. You have no idea how thankful I am for that, I hope you know. Like I told Alberto, I will miss us getting up early for inventory and counting and counting---ha ha! Good Luck with the house. Send me pictures and keep in touch. Invite me over so I can be in awe!

Kristin, I will miss you! I have enjoyed our many talks about your life and now pregnancy (keep in touch). I am so excited for you. I am looking forward to hearing about your record breaking LD performances in the future.

Ely, what can I say? You and I have been able to talk a lot more lately and now I’m leaving! Keep me posted on your life. I guess if I can’t work with you, I will settle for Edgar. j/k Keep in touch Ely!

Adrienne! John’s comments were hilarious----but, I don’t have a clue what he’s talking about! Ha-ha! You are such a sweet person and I will miss hearing your voice. Good luck in everything you do.

Dan the Man, what can I say? It has been a pleasure. I have enjoyed getting to know you and Brandy. I will miss seeing you in the break room playing the game boy! Good luck in everything that you do.

Page (Superhero, Crime Fighting, Vice President Page). It has been great working with you. You are great at what you do. I always feel like all I have to do is ask and you deliver. You are sales driven and are an asset to this team. I have no doubt that you will go far in anything you do. Good Luck in school.

Monica, don’t be sad silly girl! I am going to miss you. You have always brightened my day! You have proven to be such a huge success and an asset to the Team. Good Job to you! I am glad that we had the chance to get to know each other. I will swing back by to say goodbye to you in person.

James, it was nice working with you. Good luck in your senior position. I am sure that you will be an asset to the Team.

Jeff, you are a wonderful Manager and each of these people is fortunate to work with you (Although I know you would see it as the other way around). I have never worked with a more honest, intense, passionate, caring, understanding, motivating man in my life. You are wonderful at what you do. I am looking forward to finally giving Katy some competition! See ya in the SM meetings!

Mandy

I work with some pretty awesome people, huh? Isn't it fun being voyuer?

how's that for karma?

well, well, well.

Someone has gotten very very smart. I am sure you have heard about the recent supreme court decision allowing cities to basically kick you out if a commercial venue can generate more taxes than a regular homeowner.

Get this, a guy is enlisted the help of a hotel company to start purchasing one of the supreme court judges home. Seems he has a very nice estate in New Hampshire.

I love it. And St Tropez, see? Fox news is good for something LOL

low

So, I call me best friend, 24 days until Hawaii.

Are you excited, I ask?
Yes
She seems down
What's wrong?
You didn't even call me yesterday, NOTHING! After the rash of shit you gave me that one time, you didn't even call.

I forgot her birthday.

I'm low.

returned, undeliverable due to death

OK, I am in an Alanis mood. I have been listening to the junkie album. The first time I heard this song I cried. I felt she was channeling my mom. I imagine this is how she felt about my former stepdad. I wanted to print the lyrics out and mail it to him with a copy of the song. I wonder if he ever feels bad?

At my sisters 25 surprise birthday party, he was there. He hugged me goodbye and told me he loved me. You love me? You don't even know me. And when you did, you beat me, and my mom, and my brother in the front yard, with boots on. You sick son of a bitch. I would feel better if you told me you hated me, now get the hell out of my house.

But, he is my sisters father (and I use that term loosely the selfish asshole), and the grandfather of my niece. I have to be civil. Luckily, I don't ever have to see him, only hear about him. One day I will send this to him ....

Sympathetic character

I was afraid you'd hit me if i'd spoken up
i was afraid of your physical strength
i was afraid you'd hit me below the belt
i was afraid of your sucker punch
i was afraid of your reducing me
i was afraid of your alcohol breath
i was afraid of your complete disregard for me
i was afraid of your temper
i was afraid of handles being flown off of
i was afraid of holes being punched into walls
i was afraid of your testosterone

I have as much rage as you have
I have as much pain as you do
I've lived as much hell as you have
and i've kept mine bubbling under for you

you were my best friend
you were my lover
you were my mentor
you were my brother
you were my partner
you were my teacher
you were my very own sympathetic character

i was afraid of verbal daggers
i was afraid of the calm before the storm
i was afraid for my own bones
i was afraid of your seduction
i was afraid of your coercion
i was afraid of your rejection
i was afraid of your intimidation
i was afraid of your punishment
i was afraid of your icy silences
i was afraid of your volume
i was afraid of your manipulation
i was afraid of your explosions

I have as much rage as you do
I have as much pain as you do
I've lived as much hell as you have
and i've kept mine bubbling under for you

you were my best friend
you were my lover
you were my mentor
you were my brother
you were my partner
you were my teacher
you were my very own sympathetic character

you were my keeper
you were my anchor
you were my family
you were my saviour
and therein lay the issue
and therein lay the problem

he's had it

Last night, as I was going to bed (actually early this morning) Larry was getting out. Bella had been barking, non stop since we closed her into her dog cage (inside the run) We put her in there because she tore through the chicken wire we put around the perimeter yesterday.

SHUT UP, MAKE HER STOP is what I heard as he walked by me.

He is so mad, all he has been saying "I spent $$$$" Today he will find a hot wire to line it with. It's a personal battle now. This picture, taken five minutes ago shows Duchess sleeping, right next to the house, a good 10 feet away from the run.

scientology, kabalah, blah

I've thought a lot about the recent focus on these religions. Tom acting so crazed, the bracelets, I think Alanis says it best ....

I've seen them kneel
with baited breath for their rituals
I've watched this experience raise
them to pseudo higher levels
I've watched them leave their families
in pursuit of your nirvana
I've seen them coming to line up
from switzerland and america

How long will this take, Baba?
How long have we been sleeping?
Do you see me hanging onto every word you say?
How soon will I be holy?
How much will this cost, guru?
How much longer till you completely absolve me?

I've seen them give their drugs up
in place of makeshift altars
I've heard them chanting
kali kali frantically
I've heard them rotely repeat your
teachings with elitism
I've seen them boasting robes and
foreign sandalwood beads

How long will this take, Baba?
How long have we been sleeping?
Do you see me hanging onto every word you say?
How soon will I be holy?
How much will this cost, guru?
How much longer till you completely absolve me?

I've seen men overlooking god in their own essence
I've seen their upward glances in hopes of instant salvation
I've seen their righteousness mixed without loving compassion
I've watched you smile
as the students bow to kiss your feet

give me strength all knowing one
how long 'til enlightenment?
How much longer 'til you
completely absolve me?

this is for you

You know who you are ....

are you still mad i gave you ultimatums?
are you still mad i shared our problems with everybody?

are you still mad i tried to mold you into who i wanted you to be?
are you still mad I didn't trust your intentions?
of course you are
of course you are

are you still mad I had a tendency to mother you?
are you still mad that i had one foot out the door?
of course you are
of course you are

are you still mad i wore the pants most of the time?
are you still mad that i seemed to focus only on your potential?
are you still mad that i threw in the towel?
are you still mad that i gave up long before you did?
of course you are
of course you are

she called

So I bought the card, I haven't written in it, yet.

I need too, then, a text message comes through, it's from her. I still don't reply. What the fuck is the matter with me? This is one of my very best friends. I love her, I was there when her son was born .... Jesus. I need to get a serious fucking grip ......

the project

As I said earlier, Home Depot delivered some fencing for us to make a little (big) dog run for the pups.

Here is how the project went. Delivery, dig, set poles, nail in, finish project.

The problem is, they are dauschunds, they can slip through the spacing. Now, it's back to Home Depot for either some green chicken or a hot wire. Larry is pissed they still get through (mainly the little one, Bella is too fat to slip through unless she tries really, really hard)

The Delivery

Set Up

Dig

Almost

The Final Effect

Bella & Duchess trying to get out

look next time, dumbass

Hello Ashley ~~waves~~

I get up at 7, drag my ass into the shower, get ready and head to work. I pull up and look at my schedule in my daytimer, seems I don't have to be there until 12 today. It also seems that the purpose of a daytimer is to keep you on schedule, but you actually have to LOOK at it to be on schedule.

I didn't bother to stay for the meeting, I just came on home. Looking at my tracker stats this morning, it seems I was on my site several times last night, through 4am. Since I know I was asleep, it must have been Ashley who came home last night.

Hello darling daughter. I'm not sure how I feel about her reading me, not that she will learn anything new or that I haven't already said to her. My feelings are conflicted, which is generally the case when it comes to her, so I am used to it.

Another thing I learned by looking at the stats is a LOT of people are interested in St Tropez Butler. In the past week I have had 5 google searches linking here from folks looking for him (you).

So, here I am, home from work .... again. I have a couple of hours to kill, then in for what I hope is a quick 7 hour day. Off tomorrow, will definitely get some pool time in.

Bye Ashley ~~waves again~~

new skins

OK, so I was bored with the old look, I needed something brighter. I tried to change just the background and yuck, nothing looked right. I think I have everything back in place, and I like the new digs.

I'm a pink girl ;)

the rest

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The rest of the pictures are on my Flickr Page

sighs

.

They have Sprint phones, I will be taking care of the bill for them tomorrow and getting them new phones. This just sucks, but I have great neighbors.


.

.

mmmmm and arrrgh

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It is rare, very rare that you will read or hear me complaining about Larry. This is one of those rare moments. Today, Home Depot delivered what will soon be a nice little wooden fence for the pups. They will have their own little corner of the yard, and we will have the rest. After they left, Hannah and I went on to do the lunch thing, of course, HB Steakhouse.

I need gas, I stop, walk in (because my stripe is gone on my card) and she keys it in. It's declined. Try it again, declined.

I call Larry. Did you cancel it yesterday? No, you can only cancel it online. OK, well, I will try another station and if it doesn't work, hopefully Hannah & I can get home.

This is where he starts laying into me about letting it get that low, how I never worry about anything and he prepares for worst case scenario. I'm floored. Where did this come from? I ask him, that has NOTHING to do with my card not working, I'm so frustrated that I just hang up on him. What a freaking ASS.

I go to another station, it works (I knew I had money in there) I get the gas and Hannah and I are back on track. We go to lunch, and I knew Larry had not transferred my weekly allowance, so I send him a text message. We are eating and he calls Hannahs phone. He wants to make sure we got the gas. An hour later. We could have been stranded on the side of the road for an hour in 1000 degree heat. But we weren't, we were having a nice lunch.

She gives the phone to me. Why did you call Hannah? You hung up on me, I figured you didn't want to talk to me. I just don't understand why me not worrying has anything to do with gas? I know, I'm sorry, I'm just frustrated with everything right now. OK, I can deal with grumpy, but not when I haven't done anything wrong.

He transfers the money and Hannah & I continue on with our day. Stop by the mall to get her some shorts, then on to the salon. My hands and feet, just her hands. I was in heaven, just what I needed. I didn't get the facial, I put that money towards the gift card for my neighbors. I feel sooooo bad for them, their house is gone, their car is gone, they have 2 babies.

The block party/benefit is tonight at 6:30. I will be getting info on donations for them and pass it out at work, also let Jeff know. He is the deacon of the church and I'm hoping they can help as well.

Larry is a wonderful, awesome, patient man. But he can really be a dick sometimes....

certainly not the hand walking queer!!!

.

the title has not a lot to do with the post, I just wasn't clever enough to think of another one.

Years ago, I was in line at a grocery stores customer service desk. I turn around to check on Ashley. She is on the floor looking up a lady's skirt. Now, I know what you are thinking, she was a gay even then. No, well, she probably was, but that is not what she was looking for.

The lady only had one leg.

I was mortified, quietly as I could grabbed her up, later she told me as innocently as a child can, "I was looking for her other leg!!!!"

Then, during my sisters graduation party, one of her friends came. Ashley asked him if he had been in a fire. Again, mortified. She had seen African American people before, I don't know what possessed her to ask him.

I haven't seen her since Sunday, and I miss her .....

not the first time

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As I said, I isolate. My very good friend Deanna, who I am glad to be friends with again wrote this poem about me years ago. She told me she wrote it, it was/is hard to read. Truth always is .....

Value of Friendship
two lost phone messages, a wrong assumption
who'd have known, that's all it took, a friendship to be undone...

call me vain, call me proud
I thought our worth, would not thus be shroud...

three years gone by, times, memories we've shared
all seems for naught, when emotions flared...

you believe I hurt...think you - I neglect...
when truth be known...if only you'd inspect...

life just swept me, for a spec in time..
away from you...my time was prime..

I'd never hurt one, I called my friend
with intent in my heart, I thought you'd comprehend...

I've tried and given, all that I am...
now you've written me off, as one who doesn't give a damn...

and that's so not me, I'd have thought you knew
I thought you loved me, as I loved you...

All that I ask for, with all that I am
is for your hand to reach out, tell me, we're worth it...
tell me - you give a damn...

editing your life

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I did not wake until 10, I did not dress until 3. I left the house only once, to walgreens. Necessities. Deodorant, batteries, toothpaste, and the card. The card I will need to write in and then send. To Corie. Forgive me for not calling, forgive me for not sharing, forgive me for being me.

I read my blog today from the very beginning. Jaded, sweet, wonderful Jaded was the first to post, to comment. I read every word I had written. I saw mistakes in my typing and spelling. I saw the little pencil for editing your post. Wouldn't that be nice? If we could go back and edit our lives? Erase what was bad? Underline and bold what is good?

My debit card was demagnatized. It is a royal pain. Everywhere I go they have to input the number, manually It is met with a look like "what, you mean I actually have to type in sixteen numbers?" I'm waiting on a new one.

Discussing this with Larry this morning, he asks if I saw the house that burned.
What house?
Down the street.
No, what happened?

It caught on fire, 4:30 this morning, all three news teams there, filming the meltdown of a family. I have not been out. It seems the car caught on fire and it spread to the house. They all got out, the house was for sale, they do not have replacement value in the homeowners insurance. Through the charred opening, you can see a baby crib. I would like to edit this picture, turn back time, leave the car in the street.

Tomorrow there will be a block party for them. I will go to walmart and fight with them about inputting the 16 numbers to buy a gift card for my neighbors. My sister will call and ask Chick Fil-A for gift cards for them.

AFI listed the The Top 100 Movie Lines Interesting.

I am still tired.

and on the 9th day, God said

.

Rest, do nothing, soak in the sun, enjoy the life I have given you .....

Day eight, a new single day record for being yelled at by customers.

Eleven to Nine. Only manager from 11:30 till 9:00. Can't even leave the store for lunch. Exhausted to the beyond sleep stage.

Tomorrow, rest .....

ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh

commercials?

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I have XM radio, have had it for over four years. Did I mention I am married to a geek? He loves gadgets, and when XM launched, he had to have it.

I love it. All kinds of music, from everywhere. Pseudo commercials. There are breaks, but not real ones. They have travel tips, a moment in time ~ history tidbits, etc.

This weekend, one year ago Larry & I were getting the oil changed in my truck, preparing for a long road trip to Kentucky for the family reunion. One of the pseudo commercials comes on. It's a travel one. They start out by saying with the opening of summer and everyone's increasing travel plans, here are some tips for planning ahead. Buy travel insurance, if you can't go, then you get your money back. Pick the earliest flight you can, in case you miss it, or it gets cancelled your odds of still making it are better. They listed most airlines will give you a meal ticket to eat whatever overpriced food court meals they offer.

Then, they say the thing that I will never forget. In the event your flight is cancelled due to a terrorist warning, your money will not be refunded to you If someone even hinted five years ago your flight would be cancelled due to terrorist, we would laugh and say "we're not flying to Russia". When did we become so generic to this? After 9/11 we were all on the lookout. Now, it's every day life.

The "breaking news" is now a Michael Jackson verdict. The terror alert means nothing. Homeland security used to be protecting your crops from the freaks making circles in them.

We are numb. I say we, maybe not. There has not been one time I have seen a plane flying since 9/11 and not thought of that horrible day. I can not believe we have to think about a terrorist threat when we fly. I'm still shocked, almost four years later.

no trust

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So, Ashley has graduated, going into the navy, seemingly staying out of trouble. Life is great, right? Should be. Fathers Day, Ash brings him a shirt. She had taken out 45 cash from the money she deposited into the bank. She has a new shirt, he has a new shirt, she has seven bucks left. Hmmm, now I know she passed algebra, but it doesn't add up.

I ask, how much was the shirt? 19.99. How do you have two and seven bucks left? Chanell bought me this one. It rolls off my tongue, sometimes I can't help myself. I think you stole it.

While she was out last year (the six weeks that started one week before Thanksgiving and ended the week after new years) She furnished herself with a completely new wardrobe, all pro bono. Any time she goes to the mall, I ask for receipts. Which makes me think she will just hide them, bring them in slowly, or the old standby, Chanell bought them.

OK, now she is mad at me. She brings me the receipt, it's for jeans. No Le Tigre anywhere on the paper. She brings me another one, this one with a bank card.

I still don't believe her, I don't know how long it will take either. There is also a brand new bottle of polo sport on her bed. Who's is it? Chanells dads. Why do you have it? She took it. Doesn't he notice its gone? He doesn't wear it, obviously. Same shit, different day. I don't think she even knows how to tell the truth sometimes.

Stunningly, she calls and checks in yesterday. She may come home Thursday or Friday. Is it me? Is it her? Is it both? It could be I am a tired, exhausted, hurting bitch from lack of sleep and customers that I want to strangle and taking it out on her can be so easy, paybacks and all.

It could be that she is still in her pro-bono theft mode and just lies like always. It could be both, she could be telling the truth. Doubtful though .....

Who knows, I am going to bed ....

a three hour tour

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so after the yucky breakfast, I am trying to tackle work, but it is tackling me. My rib is hurting, badly. I wait for Mandy to come in, at 1:00.

I call and make an appointment with my doctor. The pain has moved to the back of my rib cage and not getting any better. I leave at 1:45, my doctor is an hour away from work. I get there, wait for him to come in.

He listens, asks what happened. I again go into the rollercoaster story. No really, rollercoaster It seems (from what he said) when you fracture a rib, it bruises out. So, you hurt like hell at the fracture point, then it creeps out and you hurt like hell all over.

He gave me a prescription, with a refill. I can not believe in this day and age there isn't anything else but treat the pain. ugh.

Going there, refilling the script and getting back to work takes three hours. Two passed the one I get for lunch (which I didn't get to eat). Supposed to get off at six, I stay until 8 to make up the hours ..... 7am to 8pm, 7th day in a row, with a broken rib ..... I think I deserve some kind of a-ward, preferably a pysch one.

I'd cry too

cry1
Originally uploaded by kahl4.

Yesterday in the madness of trying to get Hannah home from dr. iwillpullyourteeth, racing into the neighborhood I see a license plate at the entrance of my section. It must have fallen off a car and some good hearted person propped it up in front of the gate so the missing car may recognize it.

the close up

cry2
Originally uploaded by kahl4.

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I couldn't help but be 2 minutes late so I could pull over and take a picture .....

still tired

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So Sanyo had this big contest, sell sanyo phones, win big prizes, 42 inch plasmas, hd projectors, etc.

We were all excited to see who won what.

Nope, No winners. They brought us there, gave us so/so breakfast tacos and told us how good the product is. No kidding, we all have Sanyo phones. Those of us who buy ours buy Sanyos!

UGH So, I'm dragging here at work. So delirious last night I actually thought I had Wednesday off, ha, wishful thinking.

It's gonna be a long one ..... Wish me luck.

Oh, and if anyone knows how to get rid of that burning feeling in your neck from stress, please tell me ....

gawd help me

.

I


need



a



day



off



BAD!


I have already told Larry, be prepared for the bill. Wednesday I am getting spa mani & pedis and a facial. If I could lay on a table I would get a massage as well.

It is 10:30 pm, I have gotten home, taken a shower and read a few blogs. I do not have the energy to comprehend what I am reading, I will comment Wednesday when my senses return.

I have to be across town at 7am for an "all hands meeting" Everyone that works for Sprint in the Houston and surrounding areas (boy I feel bad for those poor saps that live in College Station!) will have to be there. Sponsored by Sanyo. I have no idea what it is even about. Then I get to go to work until six. Then just

one

more

day

the soundtrack of my life

.

As we were driving home and jamming to "Honey I'm Home" by Shania (yes, I listen to Shania sometimes) I was thinking about the soundtrack of my life.

The last song I heard before Ashley was born was Shock the Monkey by Peter Gabriel. Foretelling I know.

The last before Hannah was "If the house is a rockin don't com a knockin" by Stevie Ray Vaghn. Why do I remember these things?

Songs that will be played at my funeral are -- don't let the sun go down on me by the FABULOUS Elton John, not the lame ass cover by George Michael. (actually, I do like that one), In my life by Bette Midler (the one she recorder in For the Boys) and In my daughters eyes by Martina McBride. Yes, it will be a concert, not a funeral, be prepared to pay admission LOL

Songs Hannah wants at her wedding -- Butterfly Kisses by Bob Carlisle and "She's got a young man waiting" by Shawn Colvin (this is played at the end of Sliding Doors, a great movie and song, download it now!)

Songs that I will always cry too -- I Grieve - Peter Gabriel, Philadelphia - Neil Young, Promise to Try -Madonna, I can only imagine - Mercy Me, Christmas Shoes - Bob Carlisle.

Songs that I would strip too -- Money Cant Buy - It Annie Lennox, Young Lust - Pink Floyd, Man, I feel like a Woman - Shania Twain

I play Christmas music all year long. Me and music is like peas and carrots. I will go through 108 mp3s to get to the one I want to listen too. Obsessive.

Song that best describes me at the moment? 1985 - Bowling for soup -- "her two kids, in high school, they tell her that's she's uncool, 'cause she's still, preoccupied, with 1985

What are your favorites?

training

.

First of all, Happy Fathers Day to all the daddy's.

I have to work today. Again. Day five of my eight in a row. I fell asleep last night before 10, up at 8:30. I am still very tired and working today is the last thing I want to do. I would much rather hang out with the girls, Larry and float in the pool. I am out of the pills they gave me for pain and it shows. Last night I sneezed for the first time and thought I was going to die. We go to Hawaii in one month, hopefully I will be feeling better by then.

I will be training Clint today. He will be doing everything I normally do on Sundays at work. Opening the store, counting the safe, opening the payment machine, counting the cash drawers and getting all the "manager overrides". I will be the "host" or "greeter". If you have visited a sprint store lately you may have noticed someone at the front checking you in. Kim, party of one in the good health section please.

Just get through the day .......
Having him do all the running around will help me get through the day. Last night, 5 minutes before we closed 8 people walked in. That pisses me off to no end.

exhausted

,

It's only day four and I am exhausted. I feel like I have lead in my veins. Today during lunch I went to the furniture store across the street (we have actually bought from them), told them I was just looking, asked where the recliners were, set the alarm on my phone and took a nap.

I would not have made it through the rest of the day. Ash came home tonight with a shirt for daddys day. Hannah and I went earlier today and got three shirts and three pair of shorts. He just bought a new cell phone, so I may pick up something for that as well.

OK, my eyes are barely open and it's only 9:00

St Tropez, we need to do the lunch thing next week. How does Chuys sound? *yum* will dream of creamy jalepeno and the comida deluxe tonight .....

pain and spaghettios

.

Last night I thought I was going to die. The pain in my ribs has been mostly in front, last night, it shifted to the back. It felt like my lung was compressing while being cut out with a dull butter knife. I started crying which didn't help my breathing. I couldn't catch my breath. My sister, niece and poor Larry could not do anything to help me. I had already taken the pain meds (and I use that loosely as they do not touch the pain). I think this was triggered because John jokingly pushed me yesterday, I jerked up and the pain set in. He felt so bad, he had forgotten about the injury.

I ended up haven't to sit on the fireplace as it had no cushion to fall into. Larry said "I do NOT like you hurting!!!" I don't either for that matter. I tried to get into bed, nope. Every time I took a breath I could feel the muscles seizing, like some freak spasm the was wrapping itself around me like a boa. It was not fun.

I started shaking from chills (I get the chills when I am terrified), I finally get comfy on the couch, clam down and begin breathing again. It scared me, bad. I did get to sleep with a pillow between my knees to relieve pressure. I don't think I moved all night.

Today was steady at work and I moved slower than the last two. Came home, get Ashley to open a bank account. No checks, just the debit card. I can see all the bouncy bouncies if she actually had checks LOL

When we finally got home I decided to eat some spaghettios for dinner. I didn't eat spaghettios for years. When I was little, one Sunday we were getting ready for church and my mom was making us spaghettios. It seems she forgot about them, they caught on fire, the fire department came and the smell was awful. I didn't eat them again until the kids were along.

I'm feeling much better now (every time I hear that I think of the sixth sense *shiver*) This has only been day two out of eight. I don't think I am going to make it.

one more thing

.

Far be it from me to criticize someone else's blog. But I found my way over to this SB's blog. It seems he actually left a comment on mine at one point.

Now, I spent a lot of time reading his post and looking at his flickr fotos. I also put him together with the comments left on Rosies blog. Which I do read and often do not agree with. I read the comments and have met most of my blogger friends through there. I think the best thing about her blog is she brings very unique and eclectic group of people together. I do not like the begging for money, or begging for comments on their blogs though.

OK, back to SB. I find it very odd how he seems to be a nice person in her comments, but blasts her on his blog. That, I think his wrong.

But what struck me most where the pictures. He has pictures of himself in his "gay days" next to ones of his kids. Am I on crazy pills or is this just wrong? I also dislike the fact that the descriptions on these "gay" pictures state that they were taken by his "lover"

This makes me so mad. Not the fact that he "was" gay, but the way he preaches how that is a "sin" yet he clearly is still hanging on to that life somehow through pictures. Maybe they are there as "proof" that he really was "gay". No need for proof, he still "looks" gay. And I mean absolutely NO OFFENSE by that! But he does! LOL

And, his wife looks like a TammyFayeBaker in the making.

What is this world coming to when we send kids to camp trying to de-gay them and have ministries that try to convert them. Leave them the fuck alone. They don't try and convert YOU! It reminds me of the old ellen show after she came out. A fellow lesbian jokingly told her "I convert one more and I get a toaster"

Hmmm, wonder what the straighties get?

cassie

.

Today I had to wake my tech up. Jeff scheduled him at 8, me at 9. Since I have the keys to the store, he slept in his car. Jeff sent a message straight to my phone (if you have a sprint phone, and want to send a message to another sprint phone without it ringing, dial 11 before the number heh heh heh). Anyway, seems Al our district manager was coming today.

There are soooooo many changes going on right now. So many that Al himself sent out a plea for seniors.

I got my offer letter for my new position. It was about a grand less than I was hoping for. I told Jeff come review time in Feb. he would need to fix that. I can tell him things like that and he knows I'm serious but will take it as the joke I intend it. Did that make sense?

We had this girl Cassie who used to work for us. She went to another store because they needed someone and we needed someone who was going to be around (she was going into the navy) She got over there and decided to stay and got promoted to a senior. She hated her manager, did not perform well and was about to be fired. When Al told Jeff, Jeff said give her back to me. As a sales rep. This is what I love about Jeff. He just saved Cassies ass from being fired. He likes her and knows she will do better with us than where she was. (I told you, we are the best store in Houston ;)

Cassie walks in to talk to Jeff with her dog under her arm, shorts and a tank. That's Cassie. Showing up for what most would consider a re-interview with her dog and shorts. Now, until that moment Jeff had not shared with me what was going on. I was off yesterday when this came about and today was crazy as always. I'm no sherlock homes, but it didn't take me long to figure out she was coming back to us. Jeff tells her take the dog home and I chime in "and change clothes" She laughed at me.

When Cassie started, I was the one who trained her. She is a great girl and I am glad she is coming back with us. It will make it a lot better having a trained rep (albeit shell shocked one) instead of three down and two newbies.

Cassie is awesome, I am glad she will be back with us. She looks to me as a mentor (yes I am old enough to be someone's mentor) I took her out for a beer after I got off (she drank, not me), we talked and gossiped and ate. She is a good friend an I am glad she is back.

Now, Ashley wants me to pick her up on my way home. I pick her up, she asks if dad is home. Yes, why? "I want to go ..." No way ash, we are not carting you around. Its only up to the college (like a mile from my house) and I am out of dr. peppers so Larry gives in. She is here and there and it's OK. She will finish thank you cards this stay though!!

moby

.

I have recently started reading Mobys Blog again. He has had it on his website since 2000, his post during and after 9/11 are amazing. I love his music, his album "18" was fan-fucking-tastic. He is one of the "celebrities" I would like to know.

He has a very strong stance politically, which surprised me. Speaking of politics, you will find that absent from this blog. Not that I don't have feelings about them (I have very strong ones) it is just something I am not ready to discuss here. I applaud loudly to those that do (ahem, sttropez & jaded) LOL

I remember election 2000 or floridiots as I remember it. Hannah was in 5th grade and they were having "mock elections" She was so excited about the election, I waited to go and vote until after she got home. She walked in the door and I asked her "Hannah, do you want to go with me to vote?" Her eyes lit up and she said "I would LOVE too!!" I hadn't made up my mind who I was going to vote for until I went into the booth, Hannah quizzed me the whole way over. I let her see which chad I firmly punched. She loved it, still does. Hannah is much more interested in the news than Ashley ever was. That story is about as political as it will get around here smile If you think you know who I voted for, you are probably wrong, but you have a 50/50 chance of being right LOL


Moby freaking rocks, go read him.

three phone calls

.

Sunday, while waiting in the er, Larrys phone rings. He being a stickler for rules, goes outside to answer it. I can tell from his body language it's one of the girls. He comes back in, I ask who it was? Ashley. "I tell her I am waiting with you at the er and I am not bringing her any lunch"
"What did she say?"
"Oh, I know, I already ate left over fajitas, I was just calling to see how Mom is and to let you know I am about to head over to Chanells"

Wow. It still shocks me when she does something nice like that.

Later after we get home, she calls again, wanting to know if everything was OK. He tells her the story, yes one broken, one bruised, going to be sore. She says OK and was just checking in.

Wow again.

Today she calls me around 12:30. How am I? She went out last night with friends, just got up, am I OK, glad you are being promoted, yadda, yadda, yadda. It's amazing. There is no anger in her voice anymore, there is no hatred in her eyes, she hugs me first, for no reason (when she is home). It is so weird. Don't get me wrong, I don't want it the other way, but when you have lived one way for so long, it is hard to get used to anything else.

Part of me, still stuck in the past thinks she is buttering us up for something. This was always her past behavior. Give just enough for us to think we matter, ask for something, once she got it we were shit again, and even worse if she didn't. The only thing she could be wanting at this point is a car. We will help her get one after boot camp, but not before.

I miss her. I enjoy talking to her now, we are becoming friends after 18 years.

Hannah Banana has been gone since Sunday as well. She and Stephanie went with her parents to Galveston for a few days. It has been very quiet in the old kasa of kimmy. Is this really where I am? It will be three short years and both my babies will be gone, I'm not ready for that at all. I am going to enjoy these next three years, so much better than the last three. I look forward to this new relationship with Ash. It's been a long time coming.

every 4 to 6 hours for the next 8 days in a row

.

I gingerly walked into work yesterday. Sadly, the back of my hair did not look as good as the front seeing as I can not reach the back as of yet. Jeff says goodmorning, how are you? I'm good. Your not walking like you are good. He is preoccupied. He is stressed to the max with our staffing issues. I go about my opening duties, we open the store to the throngs of people waiting.

A break comes and Jeff wants to talk to me. I tell him about the weekend, he asks, "So you have been to the doctor? You know it's broken?" I laugh a little (because it hurts to laugh a lot) "YES!" He is amazed I am even there. Are you on any pain pills? Yes, two of them every four to six hours.

He tells me that my first month of being an assistant will be strictly to train our new peeps and the new seniors. I will be on the floor as much as possible helping with the transition. That's cool, I can do that. Then he mentions he is not sure what the salary will be, talks about the commission, etc. I tell him, I do not want to lose money, I probably will. OK, I will process that when it actually comes down.

I look at next weeks schedule. Two managers on vacation at the same time. It will be the Mandy & Kimmy show, I will be working eight days in a row starting tomorrow. Yeah, that will be fun.

I am feeling a bit down. I do not like being sick or hurt. I am the biggest baby when it comes to those. First my tooth, 2 days of feeling good and now my rib. Then the 8 days in a row. ugh ...

three out of four or a train wreck

.

OK guys and dolls, you really need to read this post, stranger than fiction.

Yesterday, we head up to San Antonio on our quest for a fun filled day at Fiesta Texas. Our directions were wrong, missed a turn but finally made it there. Scan our tickets, get a locker and are off! The first ride we come to is the boomerang. Its a great ride, me and the girls love it. We decide to wait in line for it. This was the first time we have ever been in the summer and it was the most crowded I have ever seen the park. It was also the hottest. The heat index was about 105 out west yesterday. I had told Ash to wear shorts, she refused and said she would be fine in her jeans. There we were in line, no shade, there is Ash in her jeans, no water, no food. She started to waiver. She was in the process of asking Larry for some money for a drink when she said she couldn't see, then dropped to the ground. She passed smooth out for about 5 seconds. When she woke back up she said "Oh man, I fell asleep" Her pupils were huge and her lips were white. We promptly took her out of line, got some water and food down her. We asked if we needed to go, she said no, she felt better. She hadn't eaten anything on Friday, drank no water and had heat exhaustion. OK, there's one out of four.

We eat, get our fluids in and decide to press on with the day. We come to some acme roadrunner ride, a smaller rollercoaster and decide to go on. Here's the part when I tell you Larry has a back problem, for about 4 years now. He decides he can get on the ride, we go, screaming all the way, me and the girls in fun, he in pain. Nope, he doesn't think he can ride any of them. I joke and tell him he should have come with us when the girls were little and he could still move. He didn't think that was funny. There's two out of four.

Next ride was the Rattler. A true wooden roller coaters built into the rock walls that surround fiesta texas. It's awesome and one of my favorite coasters. We get to our turn, Larry tries to sit in the ride, nope, no can do. The girls had gone ahead in the first car. I ride alone. Mistake. Now, this car is different than normal ones, the seats are very tall and slender and there is a big divider between them, filled with plywood or something. We go up the big drop, go down the big drop and around the first turn. I get a little airborne, land on the divider and get the wind knocked out of me. I am scared to death. I'm thinking, I am going to pass out, then fall out. Breathe, breathe, breathe. I get a grip, hold on for dear life until the end of the ride. When I get off I am so sore. I heard something crack when I landed but wasn't sure if I broke the ride or the ride broke me.

We push through the rest of the afternoon deciding we would be better off in the lazy river of the water park than on the rides. We go and spend an hour in the water then decide we are all ready to come home. Except for Hannah. She had a fantastic time and escaped without bodily injury.

We finally get home, it's hard to breathe, I can't move this way or that. I decide to try and sleep it off, see how I feel today. I get into bed with the help of a stool. Lay down, nope, that won't work. I get out of bed and sleep sitting up on the couch. When I wake up, I am throbbing. I can't believe my luck. Larry says we need to go to the er and get it looked at. Only problem is I have to go in at 10:30 to learn how to do the inventory adjustments. I go in, tell Mandy the whole story, she can't believe it either.

Get home, Larry is ready. We go to the er and it is packed. Coughing babies, bleeding heads, puking old women, ugh. I go to xray, wait for the docs. Yep, one rib broken, another bruised. What can they do? Nothing. It seems back in the day they would wrap the ribs, then everyone got pneumonia. They treat the pain. How long? A few weeks. I think I am going to die. This hurts almost as bad as my appendix did when it almost burst a couple of years ago.

I have to take it easy, force myself to take four deep breaths four times a day to keep my lungs clear. Have to go in to work tomorrow as Clint's grandmother died and he is off to Arkansas. I will be off Tuesday and will be planted firmly on the couch.

On the way home Hannah says, "Even after everything that happened, it was a great day!!" As only Hannah could. It was a good day in spite of everything. A very memorable what could be the last family mini vacation we have.

FIESTA!

.

Tomorrow we are getting up early, driving to San Antonio and spending the day at Fiesta Texas. It is soooooo much nicer than Astroworld. Larry has never been, I have taken the girls several times and we love it. It is usually me taking them on spring break or quick fun trips during the summer, but tomorrow we are all going, all four of us. It should be fun.

Things are still a go for July 1st, I officially become the assistant manager and get off the sales floor. You have NO idea how much I am looking forward to this. It's a hefty pay raise, but I take my commission right out of my own hands and put it into the hands of the store. Seeing that the top 2 sales reps will be gone (John & Myself) this may be a challenge.

We shall see ...

good alanis, bad alanis

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OK, So I just watched a snippet of 20/20 and Alanis was on talking about the acoustic version of jagged little pill. We saw her live once and she totally rocks, I love her. She changed the lyrics to ironic for this album. Instead of meeting the man of my dreams and meeting his beautiful wife it is now meeting the man of my dreams and meeting his beautiful husband. Good for her! She talked about how she is a champion for gay rights and anything she can do to help she will. Awesome, that is good Alanis.

Bad Alanis is that the new cd will be preselling at starbucks only. Capitalism at it's best. Bad Alanis!!

Cold

Come to me
Do and be done with me
(Cold cold cold)
Don't I exist for you
Don't I still live for you
(Cold cold cold)
Everything I possess
Given with tenderness
Wrapped in a ribbon of glass
Time it may take us but God only knows
How I've paid for those things in the past

Dying is easy it's living that scares me to death
I could be so content hearing the sound of your breath
Cold is the colour of crystal the snowlight
That falls from the heavenly skies
Catch me and let me dive under
For I want to swim in the pools of your eyes

I want to be with you baby
Slip me inside of your heart
Don't I belong to you baby
Don't you know that nothing can tear us apart
Come on now come on now come on now
Telling you that
I loved you right from the start...
But the more I want you the less I get
Ain't that just the way things are...

Winter has frozen us
Let love take hold of us
(Cold cold cold)
Now we are shivering
Blue ice is glittering
(Cold cold cold)

Cold is the colour of crystal the snowlight
That falls from the heavenly skies
Catch me and let me dive under
For I want to swim in the pools of your eyes

running at 86.9 percent

.

OK, the dentist wasn't much help yesterday. He is a dentist that does orthodontics. He did a great job on the girls teeth, they are all straight and pretty. I decided I wanted to get braces. He won't put them in on me. It seems I have some bone loss and he feels moving them wouldn't help. His suggestion? Pull my top four front teeth. Yeah right. I tell him I am not pulling my teeth, when I have too, yes, tomorrow, no. I tell him, pulling my teeth won't do anything for my bite (which is the reason I want them) "We'll work around them" Then work around them now. I will finish my deep cleanings then I am off to find a new dentist and orthodontist.

So, he looked at my enormously swollen gum and blamed it on the bone loss. It couldn't be an abscess, just the bone loss. He referred me to a periodontist. I used to work for one so I will go and see him.

Now, this morning, I wake up to what appears to be a huge blood blister inside my mouth, the gum between my front two teeth. It is also moved into my glands in my throat. I call them back, he only called in six pain pills and I had two left this morning. Shelly says no problem, gets the pharmacy number. Great, now at least I will be able to function.

I help a customer, check my voicemail, it's Shelly. "Sorry Kim, I just checked with Dr. Iwillpullyourteeth and he says you will need to see the periodontist to address this and he can prescribe you some medicine". Great, it seems since I didn't fall all over his idea of pulling my teeth and gush at the model he made I will have to find someone else to treat my mouth, which I had come to see him about yesterday. That seems fair.

I'll try to make it. I am looking at Mandys Disney pics (she just got back) and I close my mouth and try to swallow. Wrong. The blood blister pops, blood comes gushing out of my mouth and I rush to the bathroom. Freaked all out who saw it LOL. BUT, it feels MUCH better without the pressure!!!! Now it just feels like a pizza or grilled cheese burn. He did prescribe some antibiotics and I am still taking those. I cut the pain pills in half and have been rationing them.

We have seven openings at work, just our store. Everything seems a go for Mandy leaving June 30th, I will become the assistant, Clint will become a senior. We will need another senior, two sales reps and a host. Jeff is still in meltdown mode. He leaves for vacation next Wednesday for eleven days. Yeah, he is freaking out.

I was able to get four activations today, it was good. I would say I am running at 86.9 capacity to normal. It will be better when I am off the whole weekend.

one foot in the grave

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Last night, one of my favorite HBO shows came back on. Six Feet Under. I love that show. The Fishers life makes mine look like the Cleavers.

Today was #7, in a row. I had switched shifts with John, really didn't feel like closing on day number seven. I didn't sleep last night, I kept feeling my pulse in my tooth. Sunday at dinner I playing with the chopsticks pushing my front teeth together and I thought they were sore from that, I was wrong. I don't know if I broke something inside or have an infection, all I know id my mouth is throbbing. I already had an appointment scheduled for tomorrow and called in for pain pills today. They aren't helping much.

When I walked in I ask Jeff if there was any way I could leave early to try and get to the dentist, nope, no can do. So, I got the pills and suffered through the day.

It wasn't all bad though, when I walked in Jeff asks me if I am ready for my life to change. I know what he is talking about instantly. Mandy, our assistant manager has been offered a few managers positions but has turned them down. She is in the same boat I am. She has two stores she wants, the one we are at and one other. The other is coming open for her, which opens the door for me. July 1st is the date. If she doesn't take it she may not be offered again. She flat out told our district manager if West Oaks came open she would take it. I will be off the floor, no more selling, it will be awesome.

So, here's how it looks. John & Mandy leaving at the end of the month. I will replace Mandy which means we need a new Sr. Sales Rep, Clint will take my place which means we will need a new sales rep. Page may replace John (as the other new senior) leaving another open sales rep job. Basically we need an assistant, 2 seniors and 2 sales reps. Jeff is about to have an aneurysm. He sat and called about 25 people from resumes. He is still in meltdown mode.

Now, as happy as I would be as an assistant, I am not getting my hopes up. It was a "sure thing" the last time she was supposed to leave. Needless to say she didn't. I think she is scared of leaving the 'nest' and I hear the current assistant over there is a real bitch. Dazed, I am sure you totally get what I am writing here tonight LOL

There was some other good news, it seems I am number one in the market for accessory sales. wow, I had no idea. It does help boost your numbers when you work the first seven days of the month in a row.

Ashley news -- We got the proof of the pics they took at the ceremony. GLOWING is the only way to describe it. I want to take it and blow it up a million times to see that unadulterated smile every day. She stopped by this evening to collect some more graduation cards. It seems she took all of Hannahs makeup, her belt and the playstation. Little snips here and there, I saw her for about 15 minutes and then she was off again.

I am off tomorrow and Sunday. Tomorrow dentist, then doctor for Hannah, then lunch (if I am able to eat by this point) and then a movie, just she and I. Sunday I am taking some friends from work on the boat then Tuesday Hannah & I will be going to Fiesta Texas in San Antonio. Hopefully Larry can take off and go with us.

Well I am off to try and get some sleep without the throbbing pain *pouts*

sexy boy

.

I love this song, it is from the queer as folk soundtrack. One day I will get around to listing all the mp3's Ive downloaded. Bach to beastie boys.

this one is for you Galilee

If anyone knows french and would like to translate, feel free :)

I think I did it

.

Today was crazed at work, as usual for Sundays. Sundays are the worst days in retail, it's when all the mean people come out. They are they mean ones who don't go to church I always laugh.

I'm starved, haven't eaten all day, I stop and pick Ash up (she sent a text message at 8am when she got to Chanells stating it had been a long night and she was bunking up there) When I get home, priority #1 is dinner. It seems I have impressed Larry with my bathroom etiquette that I can pick the place. I'm starving for Japanese hibachi, we go to our favorite place HB Steakhouse. All of us, Hannah & Ashley both. Ashley is telling Dad about her night, I ask her, did you think we would live up to our end of the bargain? No she replies. She said she was trying to think of a cover, then remembered I had told her she had no curfew. Our only condition is let us know where you are and don't come home stinking drunk.

We stop by Walmart, it seems I have made it through to June without replacing my day timer and it is starting to show. I get frazzled when I know I have appointments coming up and not knowing exactly when. It makes me crazy.

Face soap, daytimer refills, thank you cards. Larry heads to the electronics, Ashley to the cds, Hannah & I have the cart. I don't notice the weird guy, Hannah does. We finish up what we need and head back to find Larry & Ash. Looking around at the dvds, the weird guy is there. He's covered in tattoos and has his labray pierced. Now I notice him, Hannah is sticking close to me. "That guy is freaking me out" she says. "Let's go" He goes ahead, we pass him looking at the juvenile bedsheets.

It comes out of my mouth, like I didn't even think about it "Maybe he saw your picture on the internet" Hannahs blood runs cold. I was halfway joking, halfway trying to scare the living shit out of her. It worked. We walk to the books, I'm looking for the lion and the wardrobe for her. She is not leaving my side. She sees Larry, "go get him" "I'm not going out there, you go get him" I go, flag Larry down, Hannah looks like an animal that has just been let out of a cage. Eyes darting back and forth. This has scared her, it was just close enough to the actual event and the guy was freaky enough to fit the part.

Checkout lane. The lady in front of us is making the cashier ring things up one by one. Literally. She has a thick notebook that she has written the prices on and is verifying every one. "are we price checking?" I ask, halfway joking, halfway not. There really should be a store for OCD (DISCLAIMER I mean no offense to OCD this is a joke) Another lane is free, we dart over. Hannah is telling Larry about the freaky guy. Then, there he is again, staring, he is staring so hard at us, he doesn't even notice Larry giving him the "this is my family and if you even breathe this way I will kill you" look. Then he sees it and walks away again. Larry said he didn't know if he was staring at me or Hannah. We walk out, Larry behind us making sure we are alone. I tell Hannah, "we really do know what's going on Hannah, we know what crazy people are out there, they go to those kind of websites looking for kids" I continue, kids that are unhappy with their parents, little children, you just never know.

By the time we get to the car she is in tears. I back off, she got the message. She is terrified. She is looking back as we are driving making sure no one is following us. Comes home and straight to the phone with Stephanie. Still crying. I wasn't trying to scare her to death, just trying to make her understand why I don't want her riding the moped around, or why it is important to call, or any of the dangers that face these kids everyday.

So, I think I did it, and I think it will stick. Hannah is learning, hopefully.

face the jury

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I must have pissed the gods off when I said drama free. It lasted all of two days.

Today when I came home from work Ashley informed me that Hannah and Stephanie had created "Face the Jury" accounts, complete with pictures, pictures no parent would approve of. Right about that time they come strolling in. I sit them both down and try not to scream and yell. I inform them about static IP addresses, how easy it would be for some pedophile to find them. I make Hannah delete the account. I ask Stephanie, what would your parents do if they knew about this? And ask her to give me one good reason why I shouldn't call them. They are so flat out busted they have nothing to say. Oh wait, let me back up, I ask Hannah about the picture, she says "It's hot" I am about to slap her, you better rethink your answer. She knows I'm not playing.

They retreat to Hannahs room, I go up to finish off the talk. Hannah is crying. I should call Stephanies parents and tell them. If I do, they would forbid them from being together. I don't want to continue my rep as the mom who tears friends apart. I inform Hannah they are on strike two, strike three will get you moved to a different school and no more Stephanie.

We are all on the couch watching the show on MTV about overweight kids and people, I look at Hannah, home with her 'rents on a Saturday night when her favorite band and drummer are at the coffee house 2 miles away. I hate the part where you have to do something that falls under "for their own good". I tell Hannah, "Don't be like Ashley. Don't get yourself in so much trouble that you end up constantly being grounded and resent this house and this family" Her reply? "I know it's my fault Mom, you are not the reason I am home tonight"

Maybe it's bullshit, maybe it's true. Oh, and on the profile she list herself as bi-sexual. I'm not sure how I feel about that at this point either.

No rest for the wicked it would appear .....

there's a wait at Dennys?

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Today was a short day as far as retail goes. 9-5, open at 10, an hour lunch, short and sweet. First Saturday of every month Jeff brings doughnuts and kolaches for us. Everyone meets in the backroom, fill our plates and talk before our meeting. This morning I tell him about the snake, he is pissed, then when he finds out it was Page's girlfriend, he was even more mad. I think a little at me, but I never saw the snake, I was working LOL. OK, so lunch rolls around and I am not that hungry because of the chocolate glazed I had had earlier.

I want soup, I decide to go to Dennys. I couldn't get over all the cars in the parking lot. The only time I ever see Dennys that busy is at 2:30 am after all the clubs close. Kim, party of one please. Wait. Five minutes and I am called. Before I went back to work I would have never gone to lunch by myself, now it's no big deal. I am seated, there are 3 tables around me. A family to my right. The grandma orders a large glass of tomato juice with picante sauce. I decide she wants a bloody Mary, but since Denny's has no bar, this will have to do. She has a raspy voice, I imagine her in front of a slot machine drinking bloody marys and smoking.

Behind them, caddy corner to me is a son and father. It is the first weekend of the month and I am sure this is his weekend. He spends half the time on his cell phone. The boy has a Yao Ming jersey on and a broken arm. One name has signed it, John G. Finally as I am about to leave, the father starts to talk to him, don't think of coming to live with me as a punishment. I want to go deeper, I want to curl up and listen to them. I want to ask please tell me because I am making up my own stories here.

The table behind father and son has two tables. Super cute blonde brother and sister, chocolate milk shakes in fountain glasses. They have matching shirts with airbrushed names on them. Mom and grandma and baby sister are at the next. The topic was Madagascar. The super cute blonde big sister can touch her nose with her tongue. Super cute blonde big brother says you can not lick your elbows, and tries just in case. Little dark haired sister with the adorable freckles can *almost* do it.

Uber waitress Mary. I order a bowl of vegetable soup, an order of french fries with ranch dressing (Dennys has by far the best restaurant ranch dressing, it taste homemade like hidden valley with mayo and milk), and a Dr. Pepper. She gives me a funny look, I see her thinking, that's an interesting lunch. Soup first? Yes please. The place is packed, uber waitress Mary is going as fast as she can, everyone is waiting, but no one is mad. No one is doing the were is my waitress neck strain. Because everyone was busy talking about Madagascar, on the cell phone or trying to lick their elbows. Mary is making sure everyone is taken care of.

I go to the bathroom and pass one of those feed me a dollar and I might give you a stuffed animal machines. There is a 30 something couple playing, trying to get them.

My soup comes, it's very good. My fries dipped in what could be homemade ranch dressing is awesome. She refills my Dr Pepper without even having to ask. Uber waitress Mary who is working the crowded lunch shift at Dennys. 20% for sure. The slot machine grandma comes back from the bathroom with the little one at the table. She has a stuffed animal in her hand. Mom asks, "where did you get that!?!" Grandma says "a couple gave it to her, they were playing the machine" The check comes, it's 3.99. I say, "That's it?" "Yes" she replies with a smile, not angry, not I'm not making any money on this table, just the friendly 'isn't that awesome, you got a great lunch for 3.99' yes.

I go to the checkout, there is a group of 10 or so in front holding up the checkout line. It seems these brain surgeons did not ask for separate checks and are having the poor register lady go through line by line adding up the grand slams and pancakes. He is straining his head over to look at the register screen. People, don't do this. I promise the retail monster are not hiding anything or sending out messages about you in that little register monitor. He looks at the rest of us in line like "yeah, I'm making sure I don't get charged for an extra .99 side of toast" He is probably a schmuck in real life and left his waitress a dollar.

Dennys manager offers to take my check and run my credit card at the back register since mr. no separate checks was taking so long. "I know you need to get back to work" He brings my check, 3.99. 20% would have been .78. No way that would work for uber Mary working the lunch shift at Dennys. My lunch tab totaled 6.99. Uber Mary deserved it, probably more.

the white copy

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OK, so tell me, why are the cashiers at any 7-11, stop n go or any other convenient store always coveting the white copy of your credit card slip? I'm serious, they sit there, watching you sign, hand stretched out waiting for the white copy. I always try to separate it and hand it back to them and in those brief seconds, they are in a panic, waiting for it. Do they really think I'm going to run out with it? Like I have some preference to white over yellow? No one even mails those things in anymore, it's all automated. I don't get it. Covet the white copy I guess.

Tonight, I closed at work. There were three of us, one was new, I was the only manager and had at least 10 people waiting. It's 7:30 I and I know there's no way we are closing at 8. The one thing I can't stand and would never ever do is walk into any retail outlet 15 minutes before they close knowing you have 45 minutes worth of business to complete. Please, don't do this to us poor retail workers. It sucks balls. Anyway, there's a lady waiting, I've seen her in there before but am not sure what she wants. I'm trying to finish a 2 line deal and I hear "customer care to register 5" That's code for I need a price override. I go over, pass the lady waiting she's ranting, I'm not catching the full reason of her rant, I assume it's because of the wait. I smile gently at her and say, we'll be right with you, she seems happy enough. Then I hear her, she is freaking out, I mean freaking out. I hear her say "either let her out or let me out" (the door was locked by this time) Seems another girl had brought her pet boa wrapped around her neck into the store. It also seems the girl with the snake was the girlfriend of one of my employees. That will be fun to explain to Jeff tomorrow.

Everybody (almost everybody) was in meltdown mode at work. Clint, who I adore seems to be lusting over a friends exgirlfriend. The friend is also a coworker. Jeff was freaking out because our former hostess who has moved over to sales was selling non sanyo phones. Sanyo is having a contest right now. The store and rep with the most points wins a 42 inch plasma TV. Jeff has lost three times, he wants one, bad. Now, don't get me wrong, Sanyos are by far the best phones we have, so it's an easy sell, we have 9 days left and he is in meltdown mode. Page our host for the day was wanting to slap all the customers because they were waiting and giving him those "why can't you open and register and help me you prick" looks. Now, Page had the girlfriend who brought the snake in. Kristen our former host who is now a rep freaked out because she accidentally cancelled a customers line.

I was great, happy, smiling and racking up 6 activations in the meantime. Everyone notices how much better I am. Even Jeff. He ask me today "are you going to be a diamond this month?" "I'm sure going to try" Diamnond, we are measured against our goals. If you suck, you are a coal. If you are the best, you are a diamond. When you finish the month a diamond, you get to go to lunch with all the other diamonds from the Houston area, the district managers, the regional manager and the area vice president. It is usually somewhere very nice and a great way to get your name out there. I was a diamond for 12 months in a row. No one in the Houston area had ever done that before. My district manager took me to lunch and I got emails from all the higher ups, it was awesome. Once I made my year, I burned out, hard, then all the shit with Ashley started. I haven't been a diamond in like 3 months.

Ashley came home tonight from Chanell's closet LOL She and Larry went to dinner, then she went out to a movie. I went for drinks with some of my boys from work to discuss the Clint dating the exgirlfriend situation. I really do like my crew, even when they are melting.

These updates seem so boring and mundane now that the drama is gone, I like it like that.

blog rolling

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OK, In a manic panic attack the night Ashley passed and my blog was sick, I deleted the links because I kept getting an error, so, I went to blogrolling.com and got the roll.

So, everyone, meet everyone. Enjoy

and by the way, please visit Dazed, I feel such a connection with this girl. She is a doll

oh my GAWD!

Here it is folks, the first teaser trailer for RENT. Watch it, love it, sing it ... seasons of love ...... RENT TRAILER

we have a situation ...

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Ashley hasn't been home since grduation night, that was the deal and it's going quite well. There have been phone calls back and forth, she's bunked up/hiding at Chanells. How this girls father doesn't have a clue there is someone living in his house is beyond me. I've spoken with him a few times, he's smart as a rock.

Tonight the phone rings. It's Ash, she's calling from Chanell's cell phone. "Hey"
"hi"
"what are you doing?"
"laughing with your dad" I tell her the story of the table, she says I am a dork.
"we have a situation"
"Chanell's dad catch you there?"

No, she goes on to tell me that she spoke with her ex friend Ashley online. This is the girl she went to stay with the last time we kicked her out. It all ended badly, they holding her stuff hostage, etc. We got all of Ashleys stuff except for the Fender accoustic I had bought her for her 16th birthday. Her mom was holding it until the last day of school for "collateral" Making sure there was no more drama between them. Ashley says she asked her about it and she stated she didn't have it, didn't know where it was, blah, blah, blah. Ashley is upset, she wants it back, it was the first one we/I gave to her.

I tell her, sometimes you just have to chalk it up to a learning experience. I know you want the guitar, I want you to have it, hell, I paid for it. We talk some more, I tell her to call Cindy (the girls mom) tomorrow and as nice as she can ask about it. I tell Ash, if she says no, politely ask why and hang up "don't be rude and hateful like you can be"
"I know" We chat some more and I say "OK, well call me tomorrow and let me know how it goes, OK?" "OK". I am about to hang up when I hear her say "Hey!" "yeah?"
"I love you"
"I love you too baby"

First time she has said that to me in over a month. Was nice to hear ....

let me paint you a picture

the mean table that shackled me
Originally uploaded by kahl4.

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Today I discovered was the first of seven in a row, at work, where the past three I have worked have been nothing but people upgrading and bitching. Up to an hours wait just to see a rep, then another two hours to get your phone back, then we may have to order you another one which you will have to return to get in 3 to 5 business days and possibly wait another hour to pick it up. Six more days in a row, yeah, that will be fun.

So, with my day off yesterday I went back to the garden store (I love the 1/2 price time of year) and bought six everblooming gardenias to surround the pool. I stopped by the grocery store and bought dinner fixins, it was all very domestic. Larry & I ran to walmart to get pots for the gardenias and by the time we got home it was too dark to plant them. We did put the pots in the pool to soak overnight and watched the cool alka seltzer like effect they made. Yeah, we're definitely getting old LOL No worries, I'll do it today, after work.

This is what I am looking forward to all day. I get home, warm up the left over sketti, read my blogs and go outside to plant. I go outside, plop down outside of the sprinklers reach and begin planting. I love planting, I love shopping for them, smelling them and planting them. What I don't like is weeding them, cutting them and maintaining them. But the planting part, I got that down!

OK, I'm down on the ground planting away, very happy. Larry walks out still in his dress clothes and decides to work on the pool pet (that little thing that sweeps around the pool that bella chases every time it comes on) He pools it out and sets it on the side of the pool. Now, here's where you really have to try and see this as I type. The pool pet is powered by some source of water I've never quite figured out and when it is out of the water, water pours out of it. So, there I am at the bottom of the slope, there's the pool pet at the top. It starts to slowly trickle down, to me ... and the potting soil. It's an impromptu wet tee shirt contest.

Now, my shorts are soaking wet, my hands are muddy from the soil and the dogs keep thinking with each scoop of dirt it is food. OK, I finish potting and putting. I decide to hang up some wet towels and pick up some chewed up something or another. A semi cleaning mood has struck. (now, here is the really good part)

We had (notice I say had as in past tense) a really nice table set out there. Our umbrella was old and torn so we bought a new one, aluminum, no holes to be kept in. Hannah left it open and on one of those quick incoming storms, it blew over, with the table and broke the glass. Larry had to buy a shop vac to get all the glass up.

Well, I'm tired of looking at an empty table, so, I decide I am going to throw it over the fence for trash. I pick it up, hmmm, it's really light, walk over to the fence, throw it over and somehow it drops down on my hands, on the other side of the fence. Here's the picture, two arms over the fence and a no glass patio table hanging off of them on the other side. I scream, HELP!!!! Larry runs over and lifts the table off my arms. He starts to laugh at me, why do you always get yourself into these messes? He's walking away and in this tiny little voice says "help me, I'm stuck in the backyard stockade" It was priceless.

My arms will have bruises tomorrow that look like shackles. That ought to be fun to explain, "well you see what had happened was ...."

In any case, no permanent damage done, but the gardenias look good ;)