to borrow an old sex and the city episode title

Change of a Dress

I am in my new apartment. Sunday in October, football, fall showers. Everything is much the same, except I am in my new apartment.

It's almost like being pregnant.

I have a new emotion every five minutes.

This will be the best or worst thing I have ever done.

Larry has been my best friend for 20 years. He has been my worst enemy for the last 20 days.

He did help me move a few things, and will help me get unwired when I get the wireless modem.

I still love him, and I do not want a divorce.

I do think we need this time though. We have been under such pressure for two years, it has taken a toll on us.

He did not once ask me to stay, and to be fair, I did not once offer.

The birthday thing though. It hurt me deeply. It still brings a lump in my throat. I could not believe he would not do anything.

He has helped me a lot during the move. Bought me a mattress, helped me move the recliner and has not been hateful.

The lease is in his name, and during the signing, when he read there was no "buy out" he grimaced. I don't know if it was because he is worried I will not finish the lease and it will be on his credit, or if it bothered him because if there was a reconciliation we would be stuck with it for a year.

Not entirely true. I could sublet it easily, even half the rent in doing so.

It is shaping up, one picture is hung. Hannah has not seen it yet. With her haunted adventures, weekends will be tough. I am waiting for her to call today.

I did get an address to write to Ashley. I have made arrangements for vacation for her graduation. I want to show her some support. To show her I am proud of her for making it through boot camp. I have a birthday card in the mail for her.

Like I said -- a change of a dress.