you take the good, you take the bad

You take them both and there you have ... the facts of life.

There is some good news and different news. When I showed up for the ultrasound, the technician informed me they had seen something in the mammogram.

On the left side.

This is not the side I felt the lump. I was a little shocked, and it caught me off guard. So, the first part of the ultrasound by the technician was on the left. On the good end, she said it was only 2 mm, not cm, she was going to have to really look for it. Then she probed the right, found the little pea sized round lump.

Then in came the doctor. He looked at the left first. Quite honestly, I didn't feel like he was in the same spot she was. She showed him the captured image of the "cluster". This scared me, because in all my online reading, cluster is a word I have seen very often.

The good news is the mass in my right side is fluid filled. He said they want to watch the left, and I should come back in six months. He will write up the report and send the images to my OB. Hopefully I will hear from him tomorrow. If I haven't heard from him by 11:00 on Friday, I will call him.

I am curious as to what he will say. I want the cyst drained and tested. I also want the left tested. A "cluster" to "watch" and come back in six months is not quite enough closure for me. If my doctor does not suggest it first, and doesn't agree or appease me, I already have the number of a different doctor.

I called Destiny, my sister's friend who is 31 and just diagnosed. She said, "Absolutely not, you MUST have a biopsy". I have always liked Destiny, she is very loud, brutally honest, and gives a new meaning to loyalty. Autumn and she have known each other since high school, and she was wonderful to us when our mom died.

So, I left, feeling not a lot better than I did arriving. I can not go six months, I simply can't. I have been doubling up on the sleeping pills since Saturday. There is no harm in a second opinion. At best, what can hurt?

I am really hoping my doc will say it first. I have always trusted his opinion, he has been very good the entire time I have been seeing him. Not giving you or doing something you don't need, then making sure you are taken care of when you do need it.

So, no closure, yet. But, a little bit better than yesterday.

This little bit with me has nothing on the drama at work, and with Larry. More on that tomorrow. Right now, my second sleeping pill is kicking in.