just call it christmas spirit

I came home early today, my throat feels like there is sandpaper in it. I was only scheduled for five hours, made it three and a half, not too bad.

As I mentioned, I sent Larry a text message thanking him for the sheet(s).

He replied, telling me I was welcome, thanking me for "helping Hannah with the dvd set" (I got him the entire series of First & Ten, one of the very early HBO series).

He said that he wouldn't be cashing the check for the brakes, but appreciated me dropping it off.

What was that again?

I sent him an email telling him thanks, but out of curiosity, why?

His reply?

Just call it Christmas spirit.

My first instinct is to think, yes, that spirit that you are suddenly full of, that you never wanted anything to with it before. Second thought is, he is making a list, of everything he is giving me during this separation and will sling it at me during mediation. Third though, and least weighted, he is realizing money isn't everything, and if the brakes keep me safe, and allow me to eat at the same time, it may just be OK for him to give me some.

I'm so conflicted. There are parts of me that want to work it out, they are small, and they don't live long. I'm at the what I like to call Scarlet stage. It's gonna take a grand gesture at this point, which he is incapable of doing.

For the past three New Year's Eve's I have wished for a better new year. This is gonna be the one, I just know it!