doctors vs. insurance vs. lawyers

Today, I basically fired my doctor.

I finally got an appointment after my sleep study to go over everything with him, and hopefully find some answers to my insomnia problems.

Now, let's take into account that I literally had to drag my ass out of bed because I was up until 3:30 am, and the appointment was at 10:15, forty five minutes away.

I go in, wait for an HOUR, he strolls in and asks how I am.
Tired.
Why?
BECAUSE I DON'T SLEEP!

He says he had "just read over my study". First he says that was not the place he wanted to refer me. Well, sorry Mr. I'll refer to you only, but my insurance paid for one, it's the same data. Let's move on.

You feel asleep in 1.7 minutes. Ummm, that's not even a logical equation. One minute seventy seconds? I tell him it's a typo, there is a lump in my throat. Well, it's what the data says.

You averaged sixty percent sleep during the study (the average is 80), out of that you REM was 13% (the average 25 - 30). Yes, I know this, I had already gone over the study with the clinic, who told me it was not apnia, but more anxiety and insomnia.

He then told me he wanted me to go back, sleep with the O2 on my nose. Oh, and that I wasn't getting any sleeping pills. I was in tears. Do you really think I would be here if I really can sleep? If I were doctor shopping, or just trying to get pills, I would have never gone to the study, I would have found another doctor.

He offered me some anti depressants as a "meeting in the middle". I'm not depressed, I can't fucking sleep. And yes, a small part of the problem is maintaining sleep, but the biggest problem is trying to GET to sleep. While I am awake and breathing just fine.

He told me that because I "stopped breathing" for 1.3 seconds over ten times that he could not give me anything that would medicate me. If I died, someone would sue him. He then went on to say he would rent me the breathing machine, and then he could give me sleeping pills.

I replied, so, I rent the machine, I don't use it, I take the pills, I die, and that's OK? Yes, because he could go to the court and show them he rented me the machine.

We're done. I walked out the door, then walked out of the office, in tears, and cried all the way home.

Jeff calls and asks how it went, I tell him, he says find a new doctor. He sees the bags under my eyes, he sees how tired I am everyday. He sees how good I am the rare nights I actually do get to sleep.

Sometimes you just have to listen to the patient, which he was not. I don't go to the doctor unless I need too. I don't take pills unless I have too.

I have tried valariun root, melatonin, st johns wart, "sleepy time tea". I have a tempurpedic mattress, black out curtains, I have tried everything to optimize and maximize sleep. It just doesn't like me.

I called the sleep clinic in tears, she said she would try and have their doctor call me. I'm calling back tomorrow, having them fax me my results and finding a new doctor.

It simply amazes me that junkies and doctor shoppers can walk into almost any clinic and walk out with three different medicines. Someone like me who really needs something can't get it.

Maybe if I didn't have insurance and paid cash, where it is tracked less, I'd get something .....