open letter

Dear Ashley,

Please do not call only to criticize, I do not do that to you.
Please do not call under the pretense of being nice, then when you do not get what you want, turn ugly and rageful.

Your choices have been yours to make, no one else's. No one ever can or ever could make you decide differently.

We have been through this same thing over and over, aren't you tired of it yet? I continue to fail you in your eyes, whether it be the case or not, it is how you feel. I am entitled to the same feelings.

Your checks were shredded four months ago. Before you even graduated. Do you remember me taking you to the bank? You didn't even want to go, remember? You did not order checks, remember? I took the checkbook, you did not ask for it, remember?

If you chose to start your life in debt, that is YOUR choice to make, we will not be able to help you later when it is too late. Your past choices have affected your future chances, if you learn nothing else, please learn that.

We have to break, it is not healthy or productive for you and I to continue to speak in any way, shape or form. There is too much anger, hurt and resentment on both sides right now to even try, so let's save ourselves further hurt and leave each other alone.

I have not called you once, I have not called any of your friends. I have not called your recruiter. You only call me when you want something, and since I continue to fail you, why keep calling if you know I am not going to give it to you? There is no reason. Your message last night thanking me for setting your stuff out seems at this stage a ploy.

Did you come over to get the scrapbook or to look for your checks? Did you call to thank me as a way in to get your checks? Did you call to scream at me this morning because you were thankful? No. I will not entertain any more arguments with you.

I allow myself to get sucked in to the argument, I then spend the entire day thinking about it. It will not happen again. I will not have another argument with you. Should you call, be prepared to accept that fact. If you call to argue, cuss, or scream at me, you will be doing it to a dial tone.

I want nothing but the best for you, always have, always will. I hope you can find a way to make better choices and live your life for yourself, not for anyone else. If Chanell wants to see you so bad, she can split the ticket with you.

Ashley, good luck, I love you, I just can not be a part of this vicious cycle any longer .....