Everybody Hurts

.

The video for evrybody hurts, I love it. I am a huge people watcher. I wonder while I am stopped at a stoplight, what are they thinking, what has just happened to them? What are they going through?

When my Mom died, I called Larry, call your mom, have her come get the girls. I knew there would be people coming, decisions to be made and I wasn't/couldn't deal/tell them yet.

On the way to tell them, I was sobbing uncontrollably. Everytime I thought about having to tell them, I broke down into tears, not just tears, sobs. We had to stop for gas, as I sat there sobbing, I wondered what people would think when they saw me. Did they know my mother had just committed suicide? Or did they think my husband had just told me he was leaving me, or just wonder, what's wrong with her?

I see people everyday and wonder, I am way too co-dependent like that. I get involved, invested. This blog can be addicting. I am so very curious as to whether Kimberly (hopefully fertile) is pregnant. I wonder if Dazed will make it to her wedding. This blog has been so good for me, getting out of my system and not having to talk about in "real life"

Ash had her DEP meeting tonight but before that, tried once again to let me let her do something after project prom. I held strong telling her, we didn't change the rules, didn't change our minds and it wasn't anything she did. We set the expectation when she moved in project prom, yes. afterparty, no.

Project prom is this Friday night, her test is Monday. I want so desperately to let her do anything she wants. I think that will make her happier, it wont, it never has, it never will. So I tell her no, stand firm without a fight. I think she went upstairs and complained about me, then, by the time we were supposed to leave for her meeting, we were fine again.

Billy Joel in the CD playing "Laura" as loud as it can go. Billy, another thing that brings us together.