the movies and what was let go ......

.

this week has been very good. i mean, like a totally different child. i asked larry, what do you think is going on with ashley? "she's on drugs" he replies without a beat. i laughed, no she's not. later that afternoon, i picked her up from school, take her to get her cap, gown and graduation announcements. god i hope she makes it.

after the shopping, the doctor. removing the stitches from the last cut. while we are waiting at the checkout from the doctor, chanell calls. "are you with ashley?", "yes", "call me when you have a chance to talk" my stomach sinks. why is she callling? what did she do? ashley hears her on the phone, who was that she asks. chanell. what did she want? i dont know. you tell me im thinking.

im n a panic all the way home. just about 2 miles from the house i ask her, ashley, what did you let go of? what do i mean she asks. you had to let go of something. you can not fake being this good for this long, what did you let go of? oh, i let go of my stubborness, my trying to prove you wrong and thinking you were against me all the time. im glad. i tell her i could not relate to that feeling. my mom was there physically, never mentally. i never had any rules or structure, i crave structure now, probably why i love larry so much.

we get home, i call chanell. whats going on? she asks how ashley is doing. good, great, its been great. she wants to ask permission for ashley to see a movie with her tonight. she says she didnt want to tell ash about it unless it was ok. i tell her, let me talk to her dad, we are united front with ash.

he says yes, she needs to know we are not just keeping her down. she's at the movies now. we drive (as her car was sold during the last hiatus) we pick up.

i keep waiting for the other shoe to drop, ive grown so used to thinking bad, its hard to train my brain for thinking good. she has sat dhall tomorrow morning. gets to make up 3 hours. 3 hours, 45 minutes down, 11 hours, 15 minutes to go. and pass math, and goverment, and economics. i talk to her friend mike tonight, he's going into the navy as well. i tell im, i need a favor, go in in june. if he goes, ashley will go.

its been good, very good.